It was a great day in the town of Riverdale as Archie Andrews and his girlfriend, Betty Copper, were driving to go to the movies.

"I hope we make it in time for the movie, Archie," said Betty. "I don't want to miss that spider movie everyone's been talking about. Roger Ebert gave it a thumbs up."

"Don't worry, Betty, we'll make it," said Archie. "I sure hope that Reggie doesn't ruin the movie for us like he did the last time."

"I hope your right," said Betty, who gives a frowning look at Archie. "Unless you have a date with Veronica or Cheryl Blossom today."

"I'm only dating you today, Betty," said Archie sweating. "I promised I take Veronica to the Josie and the Pussycats concert next week."

Betty was shocked. "I thought you were going to take me to the concert, Archie," she said "I like Josie and the Pussycats."

"I think you would go to one of those boy band concerts," said Archie, "so I asked Ronnie."

Archie parked the car near the movie theater as he and Betty got out.

"I'll get the popcorn and the snacks," said Archie.

As Archie and Betty found their seats, the movie began to start.

"I hope Eight Legged Freaks is as good as Men in Black 2," said Archie eating some popcorn.

"This movie sucks!" a voice was heard from behind Archie and Betty. "Spider-Man has enough webbing to outrun these giant bugs!"

"Who is making all that noise?" Betty asked Archie.

Archie turned around to see a man dressed in a red and black costume, and his face was covered in a red mask with black and white eyeholes.

"Take off the mask Reggie Mantle," said Archie. "I know it's you in that mask."

"Who the hell is Reggie Mantle anyway," said the masked man. "The name is Deadpool, carrot top."

"I don't care if your name is Beetlejuice, you need to be quiet, " said Archie. "People are watching the movie."

"This movie sucks more like that American Godzilla movie from years back," said Deadpool. "Where's Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot at? This movie so bad that they need to talk at it."

"Shut up!" said a man in the crowd.

"Make me," said Deadpool as he turned to Archie. "Trust me, kid, this flick stinks like burnt toast."

"Let's get out of here, Archie," said Betty. "This guy is going to ruin the film for us anyway."

"I'm with you, Betty," said Archie as the both of them leave.

Just then, an usher pointed his flashlight at Deadpool. "Shut up or get out?" he said.

"You're no fun," said Deadpool, "I'm out of this joint." So Deadpool leaves.

Archie and Betty go to Pops for some shakes. While there they spotted Jughead Jones, Veronica Lodge, and Reggie Mantle eating burgers and fries.

"How was the movie?" asked Jughead. "Were the spiders scary enough?"

"Some idiot was talking during the film that me and Betty left," said Archie. "He looked like Spider-Man only without the web and spider on his chest."

"He calls himself Deadpool," said Betty. "What a strange name."

"I thought Reggie was underneath that mask at first," said Archie, "but he can't be that low."

"What do you mean, carrot top?" Reggie frowned. "I wasn't at the movies, I've been here at Pops all this time."

"It's true, Archie," said Veronica. "Reggie has been here while you two went to the movies."

"I hope that we don't see that Deadpool guy again," said Archie. "That guy is weird."

Just then, Deadpool walks inside Pops and sits on a stool and says to Pops Tate, "I'll have a giant burrito with everything and a large Pepsi."

"We don't serve giant burritos here, sir," said Pops. "And what's with the Spider-Man outfit? Going to a comic book convention?"

"I'm on vacation from killing people," said Deadpool. "And what the fuck to you mean you don't serve giant burritos?"

"I only serve burgers," answered Pops, "and watch your language in here, this is an Archie comic."

"Archie comic?" Deadpool was puzzled. "I think I better go and leave now." So Deadpool leaves. "But I'll be back for a Big Mac."

"That was him, "said Archie. "That was that Deadpool guy who was at the movies."

"Did you see those guns he had?" Jughead asked.

"We better call the police about that guy," said Veronica. "I don't want that guy robbing the Lodge millions."

"What are we going to do, Archie?" Betty asked.

"I don't know, Betty," said Archie. "I just don't know."

"This is a bunch of crap!" Deadpool decided to go into a comic book store to do some research to see what the hell was going on. "These comics don't even have any story arcs, violence, or a single major character death. This sucks on toast."

"That's because Archie comics are G rated, my friend," said the comic book store guy, who almost looks like the guy from the Simpsons.

"But they all have short stories and they ain't book length," said Deadpool. "I heard rumors that the Punisher had a run in with old carrot head and his friends not long ago. Why can't Archie ever solve a murder mystery or stop a school shooting?"

The comic book guy sighs. "Archie comics are for kids, not for jerks like you."

"I wish the writers would make Betty and Veronica lesbians then the books would be good to read about."

"No."

"That Josie and the Pussycats movie really stunk, because it didn't have the feel of the cartoon. I almost wanted my money back after seeing that clunker, or killed the theater manager."

"What are you going to do," Comic book store guy asked, "kill the Archie gang?"

"That's a good idea," smirked Deadpool as he leaves the comic book store.

"I was being sarcastic!" Comic book guy shouted.

Reggie got a letter from some great girl to meet him in the park at 8:30 p.m. When got to the park, he sat down on a bench and waited for his dream girl.

"I'm waiting for you, baby," said Reggie.

"Is that you, Reggiekins?" said a weird female voice from out of nowhere.

"I'm right here, darling," said Reggie.

But a woman didn't show up but Deadpool was coming towards Reggie instead carrying an Uzi in his hand.

"Surprise," said Deadpool.

"Where's my girl, you freak?" Reggie shouted. "I got a letter from her to meet her here."

"I wrote the letter, you assbag, so I can kill you," said Deadpool. "Now stop shaking so I can shoot you."

"You'll never get away with this," said Reggie. "Archie and the gang will find out about this."

"But you'll be dead before that happens." Deadpool shot Reggie in the left kneecap.

Reggie grabbed hold of his bleeding kneecap trying to hold the blood back.

"I've decide to let you live, Reggie, but that was for screwing Archie and his friends," said Deadpool as he leaves.

"You're late again, Archie," said Miss Grundy, as she saw Archie enter her classroom late as usual.

Archie sat next to Jughead and said, "What did I miss?"

"Reggie got sent to the hospital because someone shot him in the kneecap last night," answered Jughead. "Do you think it's that Deadpool guy you told us about?"

"Could be, " said Archie. "We better go visit him after school."

"Archie, if you and Jughead are done talking, we have a class still in progress," said Miss Grundy.

"Yes, Miss Grundy," said Archie.

Deadpool decided to go to Pop's to have a shake and a burger. When Pops looked at who was behind him, he was shocked.

"What are you doing back here?" Pops asked.

"I came to see if you serve giant burritos this time," said Deadpool.

"For the last time I don't serve giant burritos," said Pops.

"Then I'll take a Quarter Pounder with cheese," Deadpool ordered.

"This isn't McDonalds," Pops frowned.

"Then I'll have a Whopper with cheese and hold the onions," Deadpool ordered again.

Just then, Archie and the gang entered Pop's to see Deadpool sitting on a stool talking to Pops.

"Stop right there, Deadpool!" shouted Archie. "We know you shot Reggie!"

"Holy crap! I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for you pesky kids and that dog," Deadpool said, as now has just thought of something. "Wrong comic."

"Pops, call the police," ordered Betty, as Pops went to the phone.

Deadpool fired four shots into Pops with his Uzi that made his land dead on the floor.

"POPS!" Archie shouted.

"I had to do it," said Deadpool. "If he calls the police, my series gets cancelled. Now that you're all witnesses at what I did, I'll have to kill you all."

"Don't you dare kill them!" shouted a voice from nowhere.

"Who said that?" Deadpool asked.

A bearded man with glasses entered holding a bunch of comics in his hand.

"It's Victor Gorelick, editor of Archie Comics," said Jughead.

"You've been a bad boy, Deadpool, coming into the Archie universe and causing your brand of chaos here," said Victor. "First you shot Reggie in the knee, then you kill Pops Tate. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"You're no Dino Pollard yourself, pal," answered Deadpool. "This place sucks anyway, I'm out of here. Maybe I can do some damage at the DC universe." So Deadpool teleported himself out of Riverdale.

"What are we going to do now?" Archie asked Victor. "Now that Deadpool's gone..."

"Don't worry, Archie," said Victor. "Reggie and Pops will be all right by next issue."

Pops suddenly got up and groaned. "What just happened?" he asked.

"Come on, gang, we go a new issue to make for our fans," said Archie.

"Who do you think will show up next?" Jughead asked.

Just then, four giant turtles wearing red masks entered Pop's. "Do you serve pizza here?" asked one of them.

The Archie gang groans. "Here we go again," said Archie.

The End