Life.
I-
I live.
I-who?

"Oh, God," Hank Pym said, staring at his brute creation in horror. It staggered towards him, gleaming steel fingers reaching for him.

"Pa-pa?" it squawked, incandescent energies flaring behind the evil eyes and within the jack o' lantern grin. Alarms shrilled and the interior of the lab was bathed in flashing crimson lights that gave everything a bloody tint. "He-lp pa-pa."

Who am I?

"Hank what was the alarm abou-oh, God! Hank get back!" Janet van Dyne stepped into the room, her form decreasing in mass within seconds with a sound like a rubberband tearing. She hurtled forward, the diaphanous wings that had sprouted from her shoulder blades humming as she flew towards the nightmare automaton that stood before her ex-husband. Energy sparked and snapped from tiny fists, lashing out to coil around the robot's form.

It squalled like a frightened infant, the tiny antenna on either side of its skull extending and releasing a sickly haze that seemed to be every color and none. The Wasp felt her stomach churn and her throat fill with bile as the encephalo ray washed over her. She crashed into the floor and rolled limply, trailing vomit.

I live but I have no identity.
What is my identity?

Ultron stared down at her, making odd clicking noises deep in its throat. Then it looked up at Pym.

"I i-s so-rry."

"What?" Pym stepped forward, one eye on his ex-wife, the other on the thing he had been working on for the last few months. "What did you say?"

"So-rry." Ultron cocked its head, like a curious animal. "So-rry pa-pa."

"Oh, God." Pym felt his throat tighten. "I-"

"Wh-o i-s I pa-pa?" It sank down with a clank of adamantium knees, reaching for Pym, clutching at his legs. "He-lp me. Ple-ase."

Father? Who am I?
Please help me.

MARVEL 2000 PRESENTS...

"NEIGHBORS AND OTHER ANNOYANCES"

Written by Josh Reynolds

A webbed foot lashed out and connected with a worm-white face, splintering fangs and busting a hooked nose. The vampire reeled back, spitting its own teeth and hissing like a tea kettle. Howard the Duck, illegal alien, former presidential candidate and currently San Francisco's shortest private investigator, swept the undead killer's leg out from under him, toppling him to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"Taste the fury of Quack-Fu, zombie monkey!"

Howard snatched up a handy hunk of wood and leapt on the stunned creature, ramming the makeshift stake into its black heart with alacrity. It shrieked, spitting oily blood and collapsed, its eyes rolling up into his skull. Howard stepped off of it, dusting his hands clean. He looked around as he felt himself, searching for a new stogie to replace the one he'd lost.

The inside of the Red Cross Aid tent was an example of entropy in progress. Something Howard knew a bit about. Bodies were strewn everywhere and the hunkered forms of feeding vampires covered the fresher ones. Luckily most of the creatures were too busy sucking up every last bit of blood they had spilled in that first mad rush to worry about the people Howard was shepherding out the tent and to the relative safety provided by his partner. The last survivor had headed out into the street minutes ago.

Lucky break he'd found the kid when he had. Just wandering the damn streets, preaching charity and brotherly love like hippie-Jeebus.

Stupid kid.

But tough. And if there was one thing Fog City needed these days, it was tough. He squawked happily and pulled a thickly wrapped cigar out of his sport coat and shoved it between his beak.

"God bless Cuba," he sighed, smoke escaping from his nostrils.

Another vampire flew past, hit the ground and bounced once, twice and on out into the night through the ragged entrance to the tent. Shatterfist stumbled forward, fists clenching and unclenching inside his power-gloves. "What the hell was that-that thing?"

"Vampire," Howard said, dusting off his battered fedora.

"He tried to bite me!"

"Vampires do that."

"Vampires don't exist!"

"Unfortunately, they do." Howard gestured with his stogie. "Besides, ain't you the fancy pants who once fought Thor?"

"Yeah."

"Thor's a god."

"No. He's an extra-dimensional alien pretending to be a god," Shatterfist snapped. Howard shrugged.

"Same difference. Maybe they're plague victims. Like in 28 Days Later. If that'll make you feel better."

"No. It doesn't." Shatterfist rubbed his wrist. "What the hell is going on?"

"Pretty standard really. Vampire apocalypse."

"I don't believe in vampires!"

"Really? Pretty sure they believe in you. And now, thanks to you, the rest of the gang has noticed we're on the menu," Howard said, pointing at the remaining vampires, all suddenly standing, red eyes shining, teeth clicking hungrily. "We gotta get outside. Get to cover."

"Cover? What cover? Half the city is in ruins-the half we're in!" Shatterfist stood, legs spread, fists raised. He'd been an amatuer boxer once, before the engineering job. Before Thor. The old skills still held. The gloves helped. He could handle this.

He could. He had to. He had to survive. Survive to...

To what?

Something rippled in his mind, like a dragon of jade and onyx uncoiling from around his brain stem, serpentine tongue flicking lighting. He closed his eyes, banishing the images. No. Concentrate on what's at hand. Teeth snapped together inches from his face. Howard yanked him backwards by his shirt-tail.

"Head in the game, ace." Howard kicked the vampire between the legs and spun Shatterfist towards the tent opening. "Let’s make like eggs and beat it."

"That doesn't even make any sense."

"Shaddup and move!"

The two of them ran into the street outside, followed by the hungry dead. Shatterfist tripped and stumbled over a body and rolled for a moment before he slammed up against a pair of white and blue clad legs. The vampires, salivating like hungry dogs, charged forward.

He had been called Wundarr once. By his Uncle Benjy.

Now he was called Aquarian.

He raised a sun bronzed hand, his long brown hair and beard ruffling in the night breeze. "Go back. There will be no more innocent blood for you this night." His voice was soft. Compelling. The vampires wavered. Their master, their dark prince, had a voice like that. "Go back."

"No! He's just one more man! Eat his heart!" one of the more aggressive beasts snarled. Aquarian shook his head.

"I'm sorry."

The vampires lunged as one, a dark horde. Aquarian waved his hand and glittering globules of null energy encased the unbeating heart of each of the demons. Aquarian closed his hand and those trapped hearts were crushed into dust. Two dozen evil dead collapsed like wheat in a thresher, becoming dust as they fell. The young man turned and closed his eyes, glittering tears rolling down his cheeks. He gestured and the bubble he had encased the survivors from the tent in, dispersed. Howard helped Shatterfist to his feet and examined Aquarian's work with a snort.

"Simple, but effective."

"They were innocents once..." Aquarian mumbled, wiping the tears from his eyes. He looked at Howard, his face etched with sadness. "I wish there were another way, Howard."

"Well there ain't, kiddo. Trust me on this. After all, I'm the guy who put a stake in the Hell-Cow."

"Hell-Cow?" Shatterfist asked. Howard blew a plume of smoke into the air and shrugged.

"Vampire cow. Don't ask. Trust me on this."

"I won't. Trust me," Shatterfist said, brushing himself off. "Because I am out of here."

"What? So soon? Hey, no, fine. Go get yourself eaten."

"What're you talking about? The Jesus-look-alike here killed them."

"Not all of them. Not even some." Howard smiled grimly, if a duck can be said to smile. "And they've got your scent now, Shatterpuss. Yours, mine, everybody’s. Except the kid's. Because he doesn't have one. That null-field of his is good for more than dusting leeches." Howard poked Shatterfist in the chest. "But you. Dracula don't like costumes like you poking into his business."

"Dracula? Dracula doesn't-"

"What, exist? Next you'll be saying ducks can't talk."

"I-fine. What do you suggest?"

"Stick with me and the kid. Help us to help you."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Simple monkey..." Howard puffed contentedly on his cigar. "We're gonna kill Dracula."

Doctor Anthony Luddgate Druid cowered back in fear as the N'Garai poured through the dimensional gateway, claws and fangs bared. Nearby, the Dark Dwarf sat on the limp body of Darkhawk and squealed with laughter.

At least up until Darkhawk shot upright and wrapped his arms around the Dwarf.

"Doc, I got him! Hit it!"

"Quite gladly, my boy!" Druid said, straightening, crimson lights flashing in his eyes. He gestured imperiously and barked out a string of harsh syllables. The N'Garai hurtling towards him skidded in their attempt to retreat. A howling wind sprang up and the screeching demons were shoved back through the portal they had so eagerly charged through only minutes before. With a sound like sucking mud, the portal shimmered, twisted and slammed shut instantly.

As the Dwarf gaped, Druid whirled and gestured in the creature's direction. The Dwarf screamed as a strange sigil burned itself into his skull and then collapsed in Darkhawk's arms. Druid sighed and slumped.

"Well. That worked better than I could have hoped."

"Hey, as plans go it was a winner." Darkhawk stood, looking down at the unconscious form of the Dwarf. "What is he?"

"A demon of the foulest sort. An imp of the perverse."

"A perverted imp?"

"Close enough." Druid grabbed the creature by its leg and dragged it back into the center of the room. He pointed a finger at the floor and a burst of light sizzled from the rotting digit to strike the floor. With care and precision he drew a pentacle around the tiny shape. It flared briefly and the scent of brimstone filled the room.

"Hey! What the hell is going on up here?" Zelda DuBois, sometimes known as Princess Python, slammed the door open, her face pale with concern and anger. "Are you burning down my hideout?"

"I assure you, madam, any flames are of the unearthly variety and as such no danger to this structure." Druid huffed, straightening his robe.

"Fine. But I'm watching you, zombie guy."

"Please, call me Anthony," Druid rasped, winking. Zelda's eyes widened and she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room. Druid looked at Darkhawk.

"Was it something I said?"

"Knowing Zelda? Probably," Hawkeye said, leaning against the doorframe. The archer had moved so silently, he'd appeared without either man noticing. "Me and Jess just got back from patrol. How'd things go with you boys?"

Darkhawk and Druid stepped aside, revealing the bound form of the Dwarf. Hawkeye shook his head.

"Of all the harebrained schemes I never actually expected to work..."

"Of course it worked. I am Doctor Druid."

"Easy, Doc. We got us a prisoner too. He's downstairs and he's a doozy." Hawkeye gestured over his shoulder with a thumb. He grinned. "Wanna come see?"

"Why not?" Druid nodded.

"What about him?" Darkhawk pointed at the Dwarf. Druid smiled.

"My binding spell will keep that foul thing unconscious until I choose otherwise."

"Man. I love having a magic guy on the team again." Hawkeye laughed and rubbed his hands together gleefully.

"Magic guy?" Druid raised an eyebrow.

"Guy who does magic." Darkhawk said helpfully.

Downstairs, Zelda and Jessica Drew, Spider-Woman, stood beside each other, staring down at the form of Michael Morbius, the so-called Living Vampire.

"So he's a vampire?"

"Yep."

"Like the ones Seth tried to sell me to?"

"Not quite."

"But he might know something about them?"

"Birds of a feather," Spider-Woman shrugged.

Morbius awoke with a start, red eyes rolling as he sat up. Or tried to sit up. Instead he lay where he was and stared into the eyes of the overlarge python that encircled him, its tongue flickering in and out. He started to pull the creature from him, but it tightened its coils almost warningly.

"I wouldn't," Zelda warned, smirking. "Glaucon is quite strong."

"Glaucon?" Spider-Woman asked, glancing at Zelda.

"Roman snake deity." Doctor Druid answered as he stepped into the room. "Also worshipped by the tribes of Pre-Roman Britain. You are a literate woman, Ms. DuBois."

"Only when it concerns snakes, isn't that right, Zelda?" Hawkeye said, laughing. Zelda shot him a glare and turned away with a sniff, crossing her arms.

"Bastard."

"Yep. At least according to my brother Barney." Hawkeye glanced at Spider-Woman. "Jess, can you still do that voodoo you used to do so well?"

"Watch and see, boss. Watch and see. Doctor Morbius?" Spider-Woman said, sinking to her haunches in front of the bedraggled creature staring at her, pale tongue licking over razor fangs. "Can you understand me?"

"I'm mad, woman, not an idiot." Morbius snarled, eyes blazing. "Release me! The Living Vampire will not be restrained!"

"We can help you, Doctor. If you let us." Spider-Woman smiled, letting her pheromones spread in a concentrated area, centered on the Living Vampire. She had learned to control them over the past few months. To focus and restrain them. Now she was letting them go full bore. Morbius squirmed and shook his head, his greasy hair flying.

"What are you-I-stop IT!" Morbius hissed, thrashing about. The python tightened its grip and Morbius grunted in pain.

"Listen to me, Doctor. Look at me. Help us to help you."

"I-I-I-" Morbius threw back his head and screamed. Then, as swift as the serpent that held him he lunged forward, jaws gaping wider than humanly possible. "I MUST FEED!"

"Glaucon!" Zelda snapped her fingers. The python reacted instantly, the micro circuitry imbedded in its genetically altered flesh activating with a flash of white. A surge of electricity ran through its coils and into the body of Michael Morbius, shocking him into insensibility. Snake and captive collapsed before the wide eyes of the Avengers in the room. Zelda sniffed and tapped Hawkeye in the chest.

"You should be more polite to me."

Moon Knight crouched on the edge of the roof beam, looking down into yet another ruined warehouse. The third he'd been in since moving his operations to San Francisco for the foreseeable future. This part of the city was less damaged than others. You could almost forget Equinox and Grotesk had tried to ruin it all. He shifted on his perch, balancing easily despite the growing stiffness in his joints.

Below him, the criminal mastermind known as Sidewinder paced back and forth, hands behind his back. Thanks to a tracer he'd planted during the incident at the church a few days ago, he'd been able to track the man down, despite his unique abilities. Voelker looked nervous, Moon Knight mused. He smiled to himself. Of course, that was only to be expected. The Society had scattered after Dracula had returned to life...such as it was. The Society, at least according to the files provided by Captain America, made it a standard practice to regroup at multiple safe houses so as to limit any chances of pursuit catching them all. Coded phone calls gave Society members the all clear. But only Voelker knew the proper codes. Moon Knight carefully slid his truncheon out of his cape.

Voelker was the head. Without him, the body would die. The Society would fall apart and disperse. Or at least be easier to pick off. Especially with a little help from the Fist of Khonshu. Which would mean one less thing to worry about. Then he could concentrate on hunting down Dracula. Perhaps Voelker could even help him with that.

If he asked nicely enough.

A sudden scrape of metal on wood caused him to turn slightly. Something...moving? Where?

"I've been waiting on this, Avenger," a voice snarled. "Good thing I'm patient." Yellow gloved hands shot down from the shadows above him, from the ruptured surface of the roof, grabbing his cowl. Cottonmouth lunged towards Moon Knight, jaws wide. Moon Knight swung his truncheon up, catching the killer in the lower jaw and sending him twisting towards the floor below.

"Got to be quicker than that, Quincy," Moon Knight said, leaping from his perch, his cloak slowing his descent just enough for him to land easily in front of Sidewinder. "And as for you, Voelker..."

"Moon Knight!" Sidewinder stepped backwards, eyes narrowing behind his mask. "I didn't expect the Avengers to come after us so soon. Not with a creature like Dracula on the loose."

"I'm not an Avenger," Moon Knight said, sliding forward and releasing his club as if it were a javelin. Sidewinder tried to dodge, but too slowly. The white club struck him in the chest and a searing burst of energy covered him for a moment. The criminal stumbled and fell, eyes wide in astonishment.

"What did you-"

"Localized EMP burst. I disrupted the circuitry of that cloak so you wouldn't be able to pull that disappearing act of yours."

"Clever."

"Common sense." Moon Knight straightened and glared at Voelker. "You can try and escape anyway but I promise you that you won't like it. And without Quincy over there-" He waved a hand to where Cottonmouth lay in a heap amidst the remains of some old packing crates, unconscious. "-to help you, I wouldn't weigh odds on your chances."

"Really?" Sidewinder stood, his voice acidic.

"You're not a fighter, Voelker. Don't pretend otherwise."

"Fine. I give up." Voelker sat down on a handy crate and pulled his mask off. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

"So long as you talk, I don't care what you do."

"And to what should I turn my dulcet tones?" Voelker asked as he lit a cigarette and sucked on it. Moon Knight drew closer to him.

"Everything. Every Society hide-out. Every cache. Anywhere the rest of your snakes might be denning."

"Ha!" Sidewinder let out a bark of laughter. "Is that all?"

"That's all I need."

"Well then, we'll start with this one." Sidewinder smiled and then, without warning flicked his lit cigarette at Moon Knight. Spector stepped aside instinctively and Voelker took the opportunity to leap forward, towards the closest support beam, one of many that rose from the floor towards the roof. He smashed a hand through the hidden panel and hit the palm-pad hidden within. The hum of machinery became audible and Moon Knight looked around.

"Damn it."

"A snake is never more deadly than when it is within its den, Avenger." Sidewinder cackled as he stepped back, the boards beneath his feet cracking and splintering as something rose from beneath the warehouse. Something big. "Now say hello to 'Rover'."

"Rover?" Moon Knight looked up, up and up at the Sentinel that now loomed over him. "Ah. Rover." The immense automaton's eyes flared to life and it leaned towards Spector threateningly.

"You wouldn't believe what you can get at rummage sales these days." Sidewinder chuckled. "Rover? Sic 'im."

Somewhere in the Sierra Nevada mountain range.

"God Almighty," Iron Man breathed, gazing in awestruck horror at the distinctly alien looking buildings rising from the snow crested peaks. He'd come south following the unique energy signature of Genis - Captain Marvel - thinking, hoping, to find something to alleviate his suspicions. By nature, Tony Stark was a suspicious man. A careful man.

Even, perhaps, paranoid.

He watched, calculated, measured his fellow post-humans with the analytical eyes of a born engineer and businessman. Weighing potential threat versus immediate gain.

The scale had broken when he'd measured Genis. The others didn't want to deal with it and he couldn't bring himself to blame them. They all still felt the residual guilt from the first Captain Marvel's death. Survivor's guilt. And for some, that obscured what was right in front of them.

Iron Man had suspected that Genis had gone insane for some time.

Now, looking down at what appeared to be a fully constructed, functioning Kree city in the mountains, he knew his suspicions were correct.

He swooped low over the city, sensors at full power.

How had he done this? He'd known Genis possessed far greater abilities than his father, but this? Molecular rearrangement on a massive scale. Something he'd only known a being like the Beyonder or the Molecule Man to possess. But it was all real. All solid.

And dangerous.

Particle beams criss-crossed the sky, springing from hidden weapons emplacements. He spun, avoiding the initial blasts but they swiftly triangulated on his position. Iron Man cursed as two of the beams clipped him, knocking him to the street below. He skidded, leaving a trail of smoke and dust in his wake until he slammed into the base of a building. Warning lights flashed across his HUD as he levered himself to his feet, power cycling to his repulsors.

Something slammed into him like a comet, driving him deep into the bedrock below the street.

Looking up from within the newly made crater, his armor cracked and bleeding smoke, Iron Man stared up at the floating form of Genis-Vel.

"Hello, Tony. Come to pay a visit?"

TO BE CONTINUED...  

Next Issue: Ultron is back and like you've never seen him before! Moon Knight vs Rover! The Avengers West begin the hunt for Dracula even as Howard and co. trail the Vampire Lord to his nest! Iron Man gets an up close and personal look at Genis' plans for California and Darkhawk vs Death Adder, Round Two! Be here in thirty for 'IRON CHILDREN HAVE INNOCENT SOULS'!