#33
April 2008

Iron Man
Iron Man

Hawkeye
Doctor Druid

Darkhawk
Darkhawk

Wasp
The Wasp

Henry Pym
Henry Pym

Moon Knight
Moon Knight

Spider-Woman

 


LA. A pre-arranged meeting point known only to certain individuals.


"We're here. As arranged." Seth Voelker, the sinister Sidewinder, said to the empty air. He stood in front of a bedraggled trio of super-villains only recently freed from a van en route to the Vault. Shatterfist, who sat slumped on the ground. The woman known only as Shriek, pale as snow and mad as a hatter. And lastly, Powderkeg, a ginger-haired mercenary with explosive fists and a temperament to match.


"Who are you talkin' to Voelker?" the latter grunted, reaching out a big hand towards the shoulder of the Serpent Society chairman. The far bigger hand of the Society member known as Puff Adder intercepted the offending digits and casually flung Powderkeg to the ground.


“No talking.” Puff Adder said. Powderkeg clambered to his feet, fists clenched.


“You sunnava-”


“Unh-unh.” A crackle of green tinted electricity enveloped the super-villain and knocked him to his knees, mouth wide in a silent scream. Asp stepped up behind him and flexed her fingers, increasing the voltage. Powderkeg toppled forward, unconscious. “That’s better.” She looked at Shriek, who was still wearing the power-suppression harness the Vault personnel had put on her. “What about you?”


“Mum’s the word baby.” Shriek said, giggling as she raised her manacled arms. Asp nodded.


“Good.”


“Thank you, Cleo.” Voelker said, without turning.


"My pleasure."


"Such efficiency." Li-Pan, Emissary of Heaven and Him Who Shakes the Pillars, said, stepping out of the moment between one second and the next. He was a thin man of Asian descent and dressed classily, though somewhat unfashionably. Between that and his glowing eyes, he was a man always out of place. "I envy you, Voelker. Your serpents display remarkable sense of acumen."


"The Society prides itself on professionalism." Voelker said stiffly. "And speaking of which..."


"Yes. Of course." Lip-Pan snapped his fingers. A purple and yellow garbed figure stepped out of the shadows, a sigil burning on his forehead. "Cottonmouth. He's been useful to me."


"He's more useful to me." Sidewinder said. He waved a hand at the trio of rescued super-villains. “And Shatterfist is already yours, if I judge correctly. That sigil on his forehead...” he trailed off with a snort. “It was killing him until we got him back into California.”


“Binding spells can be quite nasty, yes. And what of the other two?” Li-Pan said, stroking his chin. “A three-for-one trade?”


“Sweetening the pot.” Voelker shrugged. “Never hurts, does it?”


“No. Very well. He’s yours-” Li-Pan gestured and Cottonmouth collapsed suddenly, like a puppet with its strings cut. “And they are mine.”


Puff Adder and Asp stepped back quickly as a lime-green smoke suddenly boiled up from the ground and enveloped a still-giggling Shriek, the unconscious Powderkeg and the groaning Shatterfist. Sidewinder motioned for Puff Adder to pick up Cottonmouth and looked at Li-Pan.


“Pleasure doing business with you.”


“Really?” Li-Pan asked, as his form began to fade. Voelker grinned.


“No. Not really.”

 


MARVEL 2000 PRESENTS...

"PRODIGALS"

Written by Josh Reynolds


Earlier. San Francisco. The Equinox Zone.


"You wanted to speak to me?" Doctor Anthony Druid said, stepping out of the Red Cross tent. One of dozens on this street, it was providing a food for still-displaced residents and the Avengers West as well, at least for tonight. Iron-Man turned to look at him. While Druid looked better than he had a week ago, fatigue was written in every line on his face.


"How does it feel?"


"Feel?"


"To be alive?" Iron-Man cocked his head, eyes narrowing behind his face-plate. Druid smiled weakly.


"Right now? Tiring. I forgot what being tired was like."


"Darkhawk spoke to me." Iron-Man said bluntly. Druid's face tightened.


"Ah."


"At great length."


"As I told him-" Druid began. Iron-Man cut him off with a wave.


"Save it. You've done a lot that's questionable. Usually for the right reasons. That's why I'm asking you to go back to the temporary headquarters-"


"The brownstone?" Druid blinked.


"-and use whatever resources you have open to you, to find Clint." Iron-Man finished. "As much as I hate to admit it, magic caused this mess and magic, unfortunately, is the only thing that has even the remotest possibility of fixing it."


"And, of course, it gets someone you can't trust out of the field, yes?" Druid said softly. Iron-Man hesitated, then nodded.


"I'm sorry."


"Life is too short for regrets Tony. I've learned that much." Druid said, turning to head back inside the tent. Iron-Man lifted a hand, as if to stop him, then dropped it.


"Smart."


Iron-Man turned. "Spector."


"We've got an Ultron sighting." Moon-Knight said. "A few blocks north of here. Strangely enough it looks like he's tangling with some of the local wildlife. And a bank two blocks west is in the process of being emptied. Your choice, 'boss'."


"Why even pretend, Spector? You're going to do what you want, regardless." Iron-Man snapped. Moon-Knight stepped forward.


"Teamwork, remember Stark? Teamwork.'


"I-" Iron-Man began. Then he stepped back and took a breath. "Fine. Take Jan and Darkhawk. Don't engage Ultron unless you have to..."


"Sure. Take the easy job."


"Spector..." Iron-Man said, warningly. Moon-Knight stepped past him, heading for the tent.


"Yeah. Handle it fast, tin-man."


Now.


"Aaaand a one, and a two and a...KICK!" Jessica Drew, the startling Spider-Woman, spun on one foot and swept her other leg up and across the face of the weaponry-festooned looter, sending him to the ground in a limp puddle. Even as he fell, she was spinning back the other way, yellow-gloved hands darting out to tag two more men with short bursts of electricity. She leapt over their unconscious forms and slugged a fourth even as Halifax, Knight of Wundagore and newest member of the Avengers West, whirled him around towards her.


“That’s four.” Spider-Woman said, eyeing the tiger-man. Halifax grunted.


“’tis unseemly to steal a warrior’s opponent, Lady Jessica.”


“You already got five!”


“All the same-” Halifax turned swiftly, sword flashing out and up, the blade deflecting a sizzling burst of alien energy. He glanced back at Spider-Woman. “Unseemly.”


“What the hell is THAT?” she said, looking at the device that had fired the energy at them. It rose over them, a bulky, rumbling wheel of death. A building sized wheel, covered in armored plates and bristling with weapons, all of which were in the process of spitting death towards the Avengers below!


“That, I’m afraid, is the Big Wheel.” Iron-Man said, swooping past, his gleaming crimson and gold armor cutting the air like a comet. “Or a Big Wheel. Though I’d hate to think of anyone making more than one of those-” Repulsor rays burst from his palms, shattering the rubble-strewn street in front of the rolling war-machine. With a groan of gears, it came to a shuddering halt in the crater. Iron-Man landed lightly on the hull and reached for one of the dozens of hatches that covered the surface. “Knock-knock.” Iron-Man said, ripping the hatch free of its hinges and hurling it aside.


“Who’s there? Wheel. Big Wheel.” an amplified voice replied as a blast of energy caught the Golden Avenger square in his chest and sent him flying backwards into the side of a building. A small man in a set of green body armor stepped out of the hatch, hefting a bulky plasma-rifle. He shook the rifle over his head.


“That’s for insulting my ride, tin-man!” He looked down at the other two Avengers standing below him. “And as for you two-” He raised the rifle again and fired a shot into the air. The rumble of engines filled the air. “My Wheel-Wolves will take care of you!”


“Wheel-Wolves?” Halifax looked at Spider-Woman.


“Wheel-Wolves.” Spider-Woman pointed as a dozen miniature Big Wheels, all about the size of a VW Bug, bounced and rolled towards them, a bevy of disreputable looking individuals crouched within.


“Ah. Wheel-Wolves,” Halifax said, twirling his blade into a defensive position. “How interesting.”


Ultron screamed. It had never screamed before and while this occurred, a part of its mind catalogued and analyzed the sensation. The Grey Gargoyle smiled, showing stony teeth, and let his fingers play across Ultron's chest. A sigil in the shape of a Chinese character glowed with an eerie light on the super-villain's forehead.


"Steel into stone. How...beautiful."


"I don't know about that."


The Gargoyle turned as a towering form seemed to explode into being before his astonished eyes. Hank Pym swatted the Parisian criminal aside with a giant hand, sending him flying into the side of a car.


"Let him go." Pym thundered, glaring down at the gathered criminals who had accompanied the Grey Gargoyle. "Now!"


"Kill him!" Quicksand shrieked, exploding upward in a pylon of shifting, hissing sand. Pym staggered back, slicing his arms through the coiling column of silicate in an effort to disperse it. With a grunt, his form went from twenty feet to less than an inch in a matter of seconds, then shot back up to fourteen feet several meters away from where he had been before. His fist shot out, catching the criminal known as Bloodshed in the center of his chest and sending him flipping end over end to land in a heap.


Pym turned swiftly even as Bison leaped at him with a bellow and clapped his hands together, trapping the bestial criminal for an instant before hurling him straight up into the air and shrinking again.


"He's taking us apart!" Joystick yelped, looking around wildly. Aqueduct shook his head, wet red hair covering his face.


"Not for long. Get ready..." The mercenary licked his lips and gestured. Abruptly, every undamaged water-main on the street exploded, creating a sudden shower of dirty water that covered the street. Pym exploded out of the water, growing slower than before, spitting and coughing. Joystick laughed and ran towards him, energy staves leaving a hissing trail through the falling water.


She hit Pym like a cannonball, knocking him backwards and into the arms of a recovered Bloodshed, who put the scientist into a full nelson. Before Pym could change size again, Joystick hit him rapidly, striking him in the face and chest.


"Father!" Ultron squalled, rooted to the spot by unmoving stone legs. In fact, everything was stone except for its head. And the antenna that decorated that head. With a hiss, the android activated its enchephalo-beam, releasing it over the street. Almost immediately, the three standing villains were driven to their knees by the vomit-inducing distortion effect. Pym fell onto all fours, trying to clear his head. The water had finished falling and the street was covered in several inches of brown muck.


A sandy fist shot down from a low roof, engulfing Pym’s head as he tried to stand. He was yanked backwards, fingers clawing at the sand. Quicksand laughed as she dangled Pym over the street and suffocated him.


“Not so tough now, hunh?”


“Maybe not. But I sure as hell am!”


Quicksand turned as the Wasp’s tiny form tore through her head like a bullet, dissipating her essence for the second time in ten minutes. Below, Darkhawk swooped under Pym’s form and caught him before he could hit the street.


"What's up, Doc?"


"Boy, I haven't heard that one in a good while." Pym said, voice hoarse. Darkhawk landed and set Pym down.


"Sorry. I'm still working on the banter."


"I hear Spider-Man knows a guy." Moon Knight said, bringing a truncheon down on the head of Aqueduct, knocking him to his hands and knees. Darkhawk looked at Pym.


"Was that a joke? I'm not used to him making jokes."


"It sends shivers up my spine." Pym said, turning towards Ultron, who gazed back at him, almost forlornly. "Damn. I had no idea he could-"


"There is a lot you do not know about me, oui?" the Grey Gargoyle sneered. He stood on top of the car Pym had slung him in to, looking none the worse for wear, despite the condition of his suit. "I am, how you say, full of untapped potential." He looked around, smiling. "As are we all."


"Who's 'we', you walking stereotype?" the Wasp snapped, hovering over the other Avengers. The Gargoyle laughed and spread his arms.


"Why, my fellow Emissaries and I, of course!"


Dark shapes lunged from the shadows of the ruined buildings on either side of the street, colorful costumes shedding the darkness like second skins as they moved to the attack. The Wasp turned as the ani-woman known as Dragonfly swooped towards her, crimson skin bright against the darkness of the street. Moon Knight was thrown aside by the armored shape of the Cobalt Man. And Darkhawk and Pym were left to face the newly recovered Joystick, Bloodshed, Bison and the Grey Gargoyle himself, who leapt towards Darkhawk, fingers hooked like talons!


On the ground, Halifax and Spider-Woman stood encircled by the smaller cousins of the Big Wheel. The tiger-man growled and deflected another burst of energy with his sword as the machines sped around him.


"Suggestions?" he grumbled. Spider-woman pointed at the Big Wheel.


"Can you cover me?"


"A pleasure, milady." Halifax said. Spider-Woman sprinted towards the Big Wheel as Halifax put himself between her and the Wheel-Wolves. With a blood-thirsty roar, he launched himself at the closest and managed to grab hold. Climbing to the top, he spun his sword in his hands and stabbed it down in between the treads, jamming the motor. The vehicle wobbled and toppled onto its side. Halifax sprang to his feet in time to avoid being run over by another, and grabbed the edge of its driver's compartment with a quick movement.


Yanked from his feet, Halifax swung himself into the compartment and kicked the driver out the other side, sending him flying. With a satisfied snarl, he settled himself into the driver's seat and turned his ride around to face the other 'Wolves. The controls were simple for one who had flown an atomic steed in his youth and he gunned the engine.


"Now you shall see how a Knight of Wundagore jousts, my fine 'Wolves'!"


Above, Spider-Woman had leaped easily from the street to the hull of the Big Wheel.


“So, Big-Wheel,” she said, running up the side of the war machine, easily dodging the frenzied shots the vehicle’s pilot fired at her. “Looter, or what?”


“What?”


“Why are you here, pal? Looting, conspiracy? Want to make yourself king of bling?” She bounded over Wheel’s head, landing on top of the vehicle.


“That last bit didn’t even make any sense!” Big-Wheel whirled, his rifle coming up. Drew slammed into him, ripping the weapon from his hands and knocking him back into the interior of the ‘wheel.


“Oh sure, but only in context.” Spider-Woman continued, kicking Wheel backwards, into his control chair. “Was it bank robbery? It usually is.”


“Please stop talking. I hate it when you people talk,” Big-Wheel scrabbled for the pistol holstered under his arm. Drew leapt up, grabbed a length of cable overhead and kicked out, her foot slamming against his hand and pinning his arm across his torso.


“’You people’? Racist, much?”


“Only against spider-people!” Big Wheel said, shoving her backwards with surprising strength. The suit was less funny costume and more powered exo-skeleton, Spider-Woman realized. Which made the prospect of fighting him in such a confined space much less desirable than it had been previously.


“We have rights!” She said, swinging her body up flat against the ceiling as he threw a clumsy punch at her.


“Yes. The right to be squashed!” Wheel snarled, making a grab for her. Spider-Woman dropped on his head, ramming his head into the control panel. Sparks curled and popped in the air, filling the cabin with a sudden cloud of greasy smoke. Something deep inside the machine groaned.


“Whoops.” Spider-Woman said, as the Big Wheel began to roll.


Outside, Iron-Man clambered to his feet, shaking his head. “What did he-oh come ON!” The Big Wheel rumbled up and over the lip of the crater he had created earlier. With a roar of internal thrusters, Iron-Man shot through the air, landing on the torn open hatchway, his eyes widening at the sight of Drew attempting to steer the machine. “Jess! Get out of there!”


“Nope!” Spider-Woman said. “This thing is out of control! I can’t just let it go crashing around the city, right? What would your buddy from Damage Control say?”


“Something I can’t repeat, probably. Damn-” Iron-Man looked away. “All right, you keep doing what you’re doing-”


“Always nice to hear.”


“And I’ll see if I can stop it the hard way.” Iron-Man pushed himself away from the Big Wheel, jet-boots flaring to life in time to sling-shot him around and nearly under the rumbling tread of the ’Wheel. Inside his helmet, Stark gritted his teeth as he sped forward, slamming his shoulder into the front of the machine, trying to overbalance it.


If it worked, problem solved. If it didn't, two tons of out-of-control gyroscope was going to grind him into the pavement...


 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 


 

Next issue: The conclusion to the battle with the Emissaries? Do the Avengers halt the wanderings of the Big Wheel? Well you ain't gonna find out until issue # 35, because next month is Hawkeye, Conan and Princess Python in '3:10 TO KUSH'! Be here in thirty!

 


 

         

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