** To my Cajun fans: I would like to apologize for my long-term absence from the life of M2K's Remy LeBeau, and I'd like to thank you for deciding to read this issue despite it. I'll do my best to make sure you don't regret it. Also, this issue takes place before M2K's Iron Man # 7. Thanks!

-Ryan

Droppin' down from de ventilation system, I can't help but smile. I mean... do you blame me? I just managed (as if it would'a been a problem, anyway) to break into de home of Tony Stark.

Yeah... without a doubt, he's a bigwig. Been there, done d'at, though. De real accomplishment here lies in de fact d'at he's got a bodyguard. An' I'm not talkin' about your average Kevin Costner, either. I'm talkin' foundin'-member've-the-Avengers, here.

Iron Man.

D'at's de reason I've gotta get outta here as soon as possible. Not because I'm afraid of 'em. Remy LeBeau ain't afraid of no man in a machine. He's a good guy, from what I've heard... although I haven't really worked wit' 'em much. De last thing I wanna do is cause a disturbance between de X-Men an' de Avengers, anyway.

Especially since de X-Men would probably flip if dey knew d'at I've been doin' de thief thing lately, anyway. De team's been a total mess for a while now, ever since de death of Professor Xavier... an' there ain't no sense in makin' matters worse.

At least I'm doin' it for a good cause... I mean, de only man I've ever known as a father is dyin'. An' since de only way to save him is by stealin' these twelve stones... I was drafted; not d'at I mind. Just, a man can get sick of all of dis thievin' around.

Stark has a pretty nice place... I wish I had more time ta lounge around in it, tho'. Although, you'd think d'at he'd have better security. Granted, I am de best... but I've faced harder stuff in apartments.

All right, all right... I know d'at I'm on a tight schedule, an' all... but when a man sees a wine glass just sittin' out, he has t'go for it, non?

"LeBeau," I say with a grin. "Remy LeBeau. Shaken, not stir--"

Needless t'say, I don' get a chance t'finish... 'cause I'm busy divin' to de floor... courtesy of de fact d'at somethin' just FLEW at my head! Way t'go, Remy... ya see what leisure time does?!

After a minute, and lack of activity, I stand up. Suddenly I'm glad I'm wearin' black from head t'toe. (I ain't likin' dis mask thing, tho'. I don' know how Logan does it). If someone's in here, dey ain't gonna recognize me as an X-Man. Dey might wonder who d'at ninja dey saw was, tho'.

What happens next is interestin'. When I turn de corner, around de table I hit de floor by, I don' see de knife I thought flew by my head... but instead, I see an eggbeater. Y'know... de kind d'at plugs into de scrambler-thing. Gimme a break... I don' use it.

I've gotta say d'at dis is definitely de first time I've ever had one've those flyin' at my head.

Heh... Okay, I'm lyin'. But de last time was a lonnnnng time ago. Despite all de years, tho', I'll never forget it. I was seventeen, and tryin' desperately to escape de wrath of a mother who found me on top of 'er flesh an' blood. I ain't never gonna be able ta rid m'self of d'at woman's face. In fact, I'd rather face down Magneto a hundred times...

An' forget Bond... I'm gettin' outta dis kitchen.

A few minutes later, I find m'self in front of de next stone. I can't help but t'ink d'at it's a little weird, tho'. I mean... de way all of d'ese t'ings have been showcased. Each of 'em have been under a glass case, really... can't d'ese people have some originality?

D'ese people, tho'... d'at's another t'ing. I mean... what's with 'em? Why do they even have d'ese t'ings? It's definitely been an odd bunch. Between "Jack" Goatreaux... my alleged daughter... (which is somethin' d'at still is standin' out in my mind), Magneto, and now Stark... this is somet'in I won' be forgettin' anytime soon.

Dis whole t'ing has been one big mess, anyway, if y'ask me. Which y'didn't... but I feel like takin' a minute t'complain. I ain't one t'question Tante Mattie... but I've sure as hell been tempted to. It makes more sense t'me to just go after Candra, or somet'in'...

I really should get back on task, tho'. It's bad enough I'm stealin'... let alone from Tony Stark.

Nice...

...An' just so y'know, I'm talkin' about de stone. Sorry t'get your hopes up.

Focusin' on my task, with skill, I pull de glass-cutter from m'belt. Puttin' up to de glass case, I begin to cut it. (I'm sure ya didn't see d'at one comin').

De t'ing is, tho', d'at it ain't cuttin'! Before I know it, too, I'm on my butt... courtesy of some kind've electric shock.

Raisin' up, shakin' de effects off, I'm forced to squint. Somebody must be in here, messin' wit' m'head... 'cause I'm about blind, now! I didn't even know d'at fluorescent lights could get so bright!

Stumbling back, I trip over a vacuum cleaner... somet'in which throws me off, anyway. I land against de wall, t'find a metal bar around m'chest; attachin' me to de wall itself.

It's right d'en d'at I realize why gettin' in here was so easy:

Y'can't get out!

Unfortunately for whoever is doin' d'is, tho', m'hands can still reach de bar... which means one t'ing. Usin' my mutant power, I kinetically charge de metal bar... and a moment later, it explodes... sendin' me crashin' to de floor!

De lights dim... an' I can't tell if it's de effects of de full brunt of de explosion on me, or de man doin' d'is to me givin' me a break. I mean, dang... I didn't even know I could pack such a punch.

I pull myself to m'feet... but I don' get far before a tall, slender robot is in front of me. I didn't know Stark had a squad to protect his home even when Iron Man wasn't quite available.

My mistake.

I go to pull a card from m'belt, an' realize I didn't restock.

Sigh.

Flippin' over de robot, which fires some sorta blast, I run into de kitchen again. Grabbin' a knife, I charge it... an' send it directly at de t'ing.

Boom!

Heh... d'at's de stuff, non?

Not bad, too... I t'ink I like d'is knife t'ing. I might have ta reconsider m'52 closest friends.

I don' really have time t'be t'inkin' of d'at, tho'... I've gotta stay alert... and get to d'at stone!

Only a new problem arises... somet'in' I'm gettin' pretty used to, really. De loud slammin' of a metal door is heard, cuttin' me off from de room wit' de stone.

Before it hit, tho', I could'a sworn d'at I saw someone run by... so, someone is here!

Hopefully, tho', I can reach it usin' de ventilation shaft I used t'get in here in de first place. You'd t'ink it ran through de entire house, anyway...

...But you'd be wrong, I soon find out. Man... can a guy get a break? I'm startin' to t'ink d'at luck isn't really on my side wit' d'is one... sometin' I ain't really used to.

Droppin' back down, I sigh. I have to find some kinda way to get to d'at stone! Movin' to de huge door, I place m'hands on it... but it doesn't charge. Just my luck tonight, hm? I don' know what d'is stuff is made of... but I ain't likin' it.

D'at's when it hits me...

De heat, d'at is.

An' just to add an adjective: de UNBEARABLE heat.

It must be over a hundred degrees in here all've a sudden... an' I'm wearin' a full-body black jumpsuit wit' a mask!

I gotta get outta here...

"An' you jes left?!" Tante Mattie says, lookin' me directly in de eyes. She even went as far as to push my sweaty an' long bangs outta m'face... leavin' me nowhere t'turn.

You'd tink d'at after bein' an X-Man for so long, I could at least back talk de woman... but nope. I can't...

"Remy, your fadder's life is on de line, here! Don' you realize d'at?! I din' say d'at d'is would all be easy... but you agreed t'do it! He's countin' on you, boy! You gonna jes throw 'is life away?!"

She sighs again, staring me straight in de eye. "You jes relax for now, Remy... I'm gon' check on Jean-Luc. T'ink about what you've done, hm?"

I watch her walk away, an' I can't help but wonder... what if she's right? Was I throwin' his life away? I mean, I can always return ta Stark's house an' get de stone. I mean... I can use de X-Men's computers, or somet'in', ta figure out what exactly was in d'at house.

I still can't believe m'self d'at I backed outta d'at. It wasn't like me... but I just had t'get outta d'ere. It was a real awakenin', too... since most'a d'is has been pretty easy. I'm still feelin' de pain from Magneto's attack on me... but I'm alive.

Somet'in' just ain' right wit' me right now. Not ta mention I'm runnin' on about two hours'a sleep...

I've just gotta get some sleep... an' when I wake up, t'ing's might just be viewed in a new light...

Yeah... I'm gon' try d'at.

Here's hopin'... an' prayin'... d'at I haven't killed you, ol' man. I'm doin' my best.

Next Issue: You'll just have to wait and see. >;)