Hi, y'all. Um...well...where to start.

My name's Veronica Santiago, but everyone just calls me Roni. I was born in Los Angeles, where I grew up with my two brothers, Humberto and Raul, and my pops, Miguel. My mom died giving birth to me...due to complications of her heart's natural regulator...an electrical pulse that keeps the heart beating at a normal pace. Whether or not it was my mutant powers to manipulate electricity and all things related...I don't really know. I try not to think about it...

My brothers resented me for "killing" Mom. My dad, a former car thief, but poetic when he had to be, told me my brothers just didn't know who to blame. It was her time...guess God needed an angel up in Heaven. Since my brothers hated my guts, I forced myself to become a social butterfly. I made friends with everyone I met. Age, gender, and sexual preference just weren't an issue.

It was around that time for mutants, when I was around thirteen, I found out I was a human generator of electricity. I could also subtly influence people's emotions if I concentrated hard enough. I hid my gifts from everyone. Here I was, so accepting of others...that I couldn't even accept myself. It was also around that time that I stopped going to church. Our family was staunchly Catholic...but I just couldn't believe that I had been given these powers by nature...as if God had just screwed up or wasn't looking after His flock like He should have.

After that, I fell into a rough crowd. A gang. I was eventually arrested when I was barely fifteen, but my sentence was short. When I got out, I wanted to set things right, but I had found out 'Berto had OD'ed and that Dad was missing. Raul didn't bother to help me, as he was too busy being self-absorbed and full-time asswipe.

While in juvenile hall, I found I could make pretty much everyone laugh, so I eventually became a stand up comedian. But first, I had to overcome my little stage fright predicament. I just pictured everyone naked at first, but eventually, the audience was doing some freaky shit by the time I was comfortable enough to perform. As you probably already know, a few years into my career of barely making by, my electrical powers started a riot accidentally when my own emotions got out of control when some perv tried to take advantage of me while on stage...

That's when I became involved with Will Takken's Gene Nation...but that didn't last long. He thought it was a mutant's moral responsibility to love thy neighbor, even the human ones, blah blah. At the time, I was still sort of denying the fact I was a mutant. But, karma followed me in the form of the X-Men.

Now, I'm Diode, board member of X-Corp, and making a hefty $15,000 a week! Hell, it's more than I've ever received. All I have to do is kick some ass whenever someone calls it in...except, this is way more complex than we thought.

See, it turns out the X-Men's past has been sketchy, and that's the reason we're carrying this particular assignment out in an incognito fashion. I'm no perfect speciwomen, but all seven of us are treading that fence.

Archangel, my boss. He's cute, handsome, suave...great abs, sexy eyes...but underneath that is a guilty conscience that would make OJ shit bricks. There's a dark side to him he keeps hidden. As I understand it, he's been manipulated and tortured, even transformed by an ageless mutant that went by the name of Apocalypse. Some kind of magic (literally) made his looks normal again, but not his sexy ass soul...mm.

Then there's Psylocke, my bitchy semi-boss-when-she-marries-my-sexy-boss. She's tall for a chick...a little too tall. Anyway, I can tell that her boobs are fake. No way in hell those are real. She puts on a mask, too. She's not really bitchy, she's just a little paranoid about losing Warren like she lost her other beau...Doug-something. But that chick can sure throw down for a British white girl, I'll give you that. There's an untamed spirit in her, like she's just itching to kick someone's ass or bungee jump into the Grand Canyon.

And Pyro, my colleague who I can really connect with. Behind all the rebellious rock star and player antics, he's a really sweet guy. It's hard to believe he used to be a terrorist and gothic romance novelist. But that vato needs to see a shrink about his pyromania...muy pronto.

Next is Joseph, the enigmatic son of Magneto and Rogue from another timeline...ooOOoo...Nah, Joseph's cool. He's just totally unpredictable with his magnetism. My whole body tingles with tiny sparks when he powers up; he's a force of nature, that one. But if I have to listen to another one of his "Gah, I wish I could remember my past, I have amnesia, poo poo," I'm going to step on his toes...like, real hard. But, he's still in the hospital, so I'll go easy on him.

Then Maggott defines the personification of a total mook. And his accent is harder to decipher than Ozzy's. And his little slugs had a little fiesta in my lingerie drawer. Bastarditos. The list goes on...he's the male, Australian-South African, mutant version of Angelina Jolie. I think those slugs of his like...y'know...snuck in and ate some of his brain that controls sanity.

Finally, we have the reliable, calm, collected, totally boring at parties, Xorn. I'll bet he's the one of us who's least likely to ever spend his money foolishly. The poor man's suffered enough with his face caving in more than Cher's and Joan Rivers' combined. He's real adamant about healing others, as it sort of slowly eats away at his own life force, but he does it anyway because he's too damn kind to everyone. One of these days, he's just gonna snap.

"We're approaching the target," Archangel says as he talks into his headset. We've all got headsets so we can hear each other on the Seraphim, X-Corp's uber-jet. We tracked someone named Warp Savant using Cerebro and found him in northern California.

Sabretooth is sitting next to me. He swivels his seat towards me and smiles. I roll my eyes and swivel my seat around 180 degrees and face Xorn, who has his arms crossed.

"Yes?" he asks.

"Whatcha thinkin'?" I ask.

Xorn seems to fidget in his seat slightly, "This Warp Savant was registered as a very powerful mutant by Cerebro."

"Are you scared?" I ask.

Xorn looks at me, or rather, it seems like he is. I only have those holes in his mask to look into...and even then, the corona of his star-brain could damage my retinas, "To tell you the truth, Diode...I'm not much afraid of anything."

"I'm not afraid o' nothin', either, babe," Sabretooth says as he leans on the armrest of my chair.

I turn my chair around facing forward again, causing Creed to yank his arm away, and yell, "Why the hell is he with us? Aren't we supposed to be maintaining a good PR?"

"I'm here to help," Sabretooth says as he clenches his fist and seems to sniff his knuckles.

"And did anyone bother to ask him how he knew we were in trouble?" I ask. "Am I the only one with a brain, here?"

"God, Roni, just shut up!" Maggott yells.

"Maybe you should shut up, Maggott," I counter, "or should I tell everyone about that prono you were watching?"

"...damn," Maggott mutters. Score! Take that!

"Look, the last people I killed were two SHIELD agents who were dissecting me like a lab rat," Sabretooth reveals. The jet becomes eerily silent, "What Psylocke told me before I supposedly died was what kept me going, so I pretended to be dead...it took a lot of concentration to keep my healing factor at its lowest level, making it seem like I was dead...I almost really did die...those surgeons were just in the wrong place at the wrong time..."

"Yeah right," Psylocke mutters telepathically. I think she only meant for the X-Men to hear it, because Sabretooth didn't seem to react to the insult.

"I tried to get back to Australia to warn everyone about Psylocke's turn to the dark side...my main concern was Blink, though...God, I wish I...," Creed pauses. "But then, you were attacked by the Church of Humanity. I actually helped you pick some of them off...but I remained under your radar, apparently."

"Where? At the base?" Pyro asks.

Sabretooth nods, "Not even Betsy could sense me, apparently. Guess between Logan pokin' me in the brain and almost dying by Joseph's hand really did a number on my neural patterns, eh?"

"But, then how did you figure out we were being targeted by this Savant guy or whoever?" Maggott asks.

"I didn't know, you moron. When you became X-Corp, before then, I was sort of...self-proclaimed shadow member of the team," Sabretooth explains.

"What?" Archangel asks while he was still piloting the jet. "That's illegal...er...I'm assuming."

"Don't worry, fly-boy," Sabretooth says. "I'm not asking for a paycheck. I heard on different frequencies there was a hit out on the X-Corp board...naturally, I was gonna stop it from happenin'. But first, I had to make it seem like I was my old self."

"...huh?" Pyro asks, which was probably what everyone else was thinking.

"I figured Joseph would be at the top of the list, since he's your most powerful member. I broke into his apartment before he got home from a job and roughed him up a little using an advanced EM filter," Sabretooth explains. "I figured whoever was gonna do Joe in would stop me from killing him, or else he or she wouldn't receive a paycheck. That's when Vargas attacked...since when did he get the shadow powers?"

"Long story," Psylocke says.

"After my ass was kicked and Joe escaped major injury, thanks to your Man In the Iron Mask friend over there," Sabretooth says while looking back at Xorn, "I laid low for a little while, but then I found out I was wanted by the NYPD, among others, for the deaths of some baggage claim workers at the airport. Ring any bells, Worthlesston?"

"The hair samples...looked like yours," Warren says. "How was I supposed to know they were Razoar's?"

"When I realized it was more than Vargas after you guys, I figured there was somethin' bigger goin' on, so I waltzed into your office to tell you. You X-Men aren't exactly famous for thinking a situation through before diving into it, anyway...didn't want to seem all secretive and have you blast the shit out of me," Sabretooth says. He turns back to me, "Does that answer your never-ending need to question everything, Ms. Junior X-Woman?"

Ouch. Okay, that one kinda hurt. I cross my arms and look out the window that isn't there on this stupid custom-made jet.

"You know, if there's one thing I hate, it's tall, bulky blondes acting like they're all intelligent when you're really dumbass descendants of barbaric Vikings," I quip. "Go sit on a cock, you...cock."

Being a comedian has its advantages. Comebacks are like our paintbrush on a canvas. Sabretooth lets out a hearty laugh, "Oh, man. Little sparkler's got a tongue like a whip, I'll bet that comes in handy for goin' down on a woman, eh?"

"What?" I ask.

"Well, let's face it, only chicks who watch reruns of Ellen wear their hair like that, short cakes," Sabretooth grins. He begins laughing again.

I run my hand through my short, black hair. I dunno, I like it. A tear runs down my cheek, but I wipe it off fast. Don't want to let him or them see me cry. I'm stronger than that. Suddenly, there is a yelp as Sabretooth grips his head, shouting.

"Ow, damnit, Betsy!" Sabretooth shouts as blood trickles out of his nose.

Psylocke turns to face Sabretooth from the copilot seat, "You're out of line, Creed. Anyway, Diode isn't a lesbian."

"Yeah," I say, "I wear my hair short so I don't have to deal with all the embarrassing static situations if it were long." I sigh, "You big...dildo." A cross my arms again and lean back into my chair. I look up at Psylocke, who's gripping Archangel's hand as he adjusts the jet's pitch. I smile to myself and wonder if the bug up Betsy's ass finally died...?

There's a glimmer off of her engagement ring that catches my eye. Perhaps she's finally confident with herself...as well as her impending nuptials with Warren.

Suddenly, there's an abrupt halt on the thrust as the jet descends vertically. We were about to touch down. Which means it's go time with this Savant mo' fo'. It's that same anxiety before a fight with a rival gang. I can feel my eyeballs buzz as the electricity begins to pour out of them, crackling in the air. I look over at Pyro and he just smiles at me. He and I must be thinking the same thing...

"Gonna cut loose wit' me on the battlefield?" Pyro asks.

...damn, I thought he wanted to have kinky coworker sex with me. Bah, oh well.

"Bring it on," I say as the jet touches down on a flat area of the redwood forest.

The nightmares are getting more and more horrific as time goes on. Nightmares of a wartorn land and in the middle of it all, a man named Apocalypse watches his own empire crumble as my father tears him in half. Then, I am pushed into the crystal wave...and I end up in a new world with no memory of who I am. A woman raises me in secret until one day, she calls upon me to battle someone I do not know...but in my heart, he is familiar to me in some way.

His name was Magneto.

It was the same familiar sense one gets when trying to remember a dream, sifting through the images in your subconscious memory until you see the face...and it all becomes clear.

I didn't realize it, then, but I was fighting my own father, but not exactly the one I knew. We fought and I lost...lost my memory, again. A nun, Sister Maria, gave me the name of Joseph...after the prodigal son in the Bible. I don't know if that was some sort of religious coincidence or if it was some kind of sick joke fate was playing on me.

The woman, Astra, eventually found me after I had joined and left the X-Men. They thought, as well as I, that I was somehow Magneto de-aged. It happened before, so it was not all that outlandish. She told me I was Magneto's clone that she created (which was a boldfaced lie).

Magneto tried to tip the Earth's axis in order for the United Nations to meet his demands. I stopped him...at the cost of my organic life. My electromagnetic life afterwards, after my body subsequently died, was unlike anything one human being has ever experienced. I was omnipresent with all things on Earth. For the first time, I felt that I belonged somewhere.

Paradoxly, when my body was reassembled by a mad, messiah wannabe named Deus, my feelings of isolation returned. However, that's when I learned the truth...that Rogue and Magneto were actually my parents. Not from this world, but the one that I remember from my nightmares.

It was hard to welcome the news. Magneto was the sworn enemy of humankind and those who followed Xavier's ethics. And Rogue, my mother, was my teammate, she was barely older than me. I could not relate to her...she did not raise me. The only parents I remember now are dead...engulfed in a nuclear pulse of energy that rocked North America.

And Astra...the closest thing to a...whatever...performed strange experiments on me. Honing my powers and body to be the perfect master of magnetism...abusing me sexually...physically...mentally...in every which way...her sick way of getting back at Magneto...

When Xorn healed my nervous system...he went a little too far and healed my mind. I remember everything now.

What Xorn did...that is something I will never forget...and never forgive. How could my own partner do that...? He had no right...I don't care if he's been locked away for ten years...I WAS CONTENT WITH NOT KNOWING MY PAST, DAMN IT!

I rip the sensors off of my chest as I magnetically float my body off of the hospital bed. The nurse tries to hold me down, but I growl at her and she gasps.

I lower myself onto the cold floor as a pain shoots up my left leg. I fall flat on my face. I grip the back of my knee and find it to be...cold. My left leg was paralyzed below the knee.

The nerves...where ever Vargas stabbed me...they were too damaged for Xorn to heal.

Perfect.

I'm not like most mutants.

When I was eighteen, my powers first manifested. Usually, it's earlier than that. But anyway, I remember watching some mutant guy on TV from Muir Isle or something over in Scotland...someone who could warp his surroundings. I smiled to myself...because I knew I could do better than that moron. I'd garner more attention than he did...I'd make the news...cause a higher body count.

I'd become the master of distorting reality...

Guess that's why I came to call myself Warp Savant.

My dad, brother, and sister didn't pay much attention to me. My mom died when I was little. I felt isolated when my brother died...so I had to keep my dad around, at least. My sister...who knows where she is. Probably livin' with at least...ten kids, I'd imagine...the whore.

I don't even remember much of my former life...before accepting everything there was about being a mutant. It's as if my mind has ascended to a higher level. All that stuff...my name...where I lived...it's not important anymore.

It's then that I realized that mutants are the future. Humans aren't dying out per se...they'll be in zoos with the monkeys soon enough. Hell, they're already in a zoo with their huge, polluted cities. Mutants are on the outside, looking in on them. Looking at them living their pointless worker ant lives.

Get up. Go to Work. Come home. Sleep. And eat in-between all of those. It's insane. Mutants don't have to do that. We're independent thinkers. We do what we want.

One of the things I want...among other things...is this Jigoku thing. I heard about it after I absorbed this one dude into my mind. His name was Vigoro Consuelos...but likes Vargas better. He just appeared out of nowhere one day in Japan...and I felt it all the way over here in the Californian forests.

He breached a dimensional barrier...hence, I felt the distortion of reality and sucked it up like a spaghetti noodle. I let him out, of course...after he promised me a bunch of money and the top spot to this Jigoku thing.

Now, I'm not one to succumb to greed...but money sounds good. With money comes fame...and I want myself to have a name out there.

In the world.

I giggled with glee when I found out the heir to the Jigoku and key to my success was already part of the famous cult-hit, X-Corp...which is all hype if you ask me. I mean, what have they done, yet?

"...uh, sir?" Lumina mutters shakily.

Oh, right. They kicked the ass of the mercenary team I hired. Big whoop. This Lumina one seems way too...what's the word? Like the shy girl in high school who secretly idolizes you in the not-so-sane way? Candles and pictures, and shit? Yeah, that. Glitter and markers? Ugh...

"Not now, I'm having one of those soliloquies...like in Shakespeare," I say.

"Mr. Savant," Vargas suddenly shouts, "It's X-Corp. They're here." Darkblaster walks in with Razoar and Redhawk in tow. Darkblaster's the silent one with the gun. Real stoic...cliché brooding type. Razoar's the big hairy werewolf strong arm. And Redhawk is the overachieving assmongrel. Of course, Vargas...well, he's a little bitch.

"Well, jeez," I say as I flinch a bit, causing my safehouse to shift its form into that of a five-star hotel, "we need to accommodate for our guests. Do you think they'll be spending the night?"

An energy blast of some sort rips through the "lobby," creating a temporary hole where they pour in, wearing their fancy suits. The one with the mask's eyes dim down. He was the one who unleashed that heat blast.

One of them towards the back...a girl with short hair...oh God...she probably doesn't recognize me. I'm all piercings and tattoos with leather mesh and shit. It's been so long.

"...Raul?" she asks.

"...Roni?" I ask back.

"Do you know him, Diode?" the one with the wings asks her.

She nods, "That's my brother...Raul."

Raul Santiago...now I remember my old name. Gosh, it's been awhile!

"Whoa...," the skinny blonde man with sunglasses says.

A smile crawls out of my face, "Shakespearean, indeed." With a flinch, the seven X-Men struggle as they're dematerialized...into nothing as they're sucked into the pocket dimension within my brain.

"Well...that was easy," I say as I kick back on my plush chair. "Let's go over our first order of business, ladies and gents...I think we've just inherited the Jigoku...and X-Corp."

TO BE CONTINUED...