Archangel

Psylocke

{{“…Warren? Hello? Are you there? This is Hank! Uh…not sure how to explain this, but…Ororo’s alive. I know it sounds weird and it came at a bad time, but that’s not the real reason why I’ve called. Some of us are en route to Washington as we speak. Not sure of how things are going on your end, but…if you see Scott, it’s not him. There’s something seriously wro--” *SHHHHKKSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*}}

Sandy Fredrickson, the blue-haired receptionist for X-Corp’s executive board of directors, frantically chewed her gum as she yelled, “Hello? Hello? Ugh…stupid phones!” She pressed the extension button on the phone to ring in the office, “Bill? I think the X-Men are trying to contact Mr. Worthington. I know they’re in another dimension, but…but…I know! It sounds important, though. Should we try to contact the Avengers or something?”

Sandy leaned her head against her shoulder to hold the receiver against her ear as she rotated her chair towards her filing cabinet to try and find the number for the Baxter Building, “Bill…Spider-Man doesn’t even HAVE a phone number!”

The crowd of gelatinous blobs, whom belonged to the extra-dimensional race known as the Spineless Ones, roared in anticipation and excitement as the arena’s faulty stadium lighting focused in on the center of it all. Two factions of X-Men, almost mirror images of each other and from similar (yet separate) dimensions, were about to engage in the biggest battle Mojoworld has seen since the overthrow of Mojo I.

It was X-Corp of Earth 616 against the X-Corps of Earth 615. So alike, and yet…

“Warren, what are we going to do?” Betsy Braddock, wearing her black ninja garb, asked her fiancé.

“Everyone just take on your respective doppelganger. Diode? Are you up to facing Bishop?” Archangel asked, knowing that her inexperience was definitely a factor that would contribute to the team’s loss…but she did hold her own against the Church of Humanity…although an XSE agent was something else entirely.

Diode arched an eyebrow as the apprehension in her voice did little to make her seem heroic, “Nu-uh. But I don’t feel like getting my ass handed to me by Rogue over there, either.”

“We need to take out Rogue and Bishop, either way,” Pyro said, his face still bruised and bleeding from his fight with Xorn to appease the masses. “They’re the strongest.”

{{“Ugh…these impromptu battle plan things take forever!”}} Mojo yelled over the loudspeaker. He sighed, {{“I guess I should go over the backstory of the X-Corps since they’re a little less known throughout the multiverse…”}}

Both X-Corp and their opponent, X-Corps, looked up on a large monitor overlooking the entire stadium. As it blared to life, the setting was Tokyo, more specifically, the residence of Marcus Tsung.

Quicksilver is seen confronting the leader of the Jigoku on the roof, but the sound was cut off as it was interrupted by Mojo’s narration, {{“This should seem familiar to you wieners that pay waaaaay too close attention to Earth 616 continuity. This is where the X-Men confronted Tsung’s Jigoku and when we first learned of Psylocke’s naughty-naughty secret that she was…dramatic pause…EVIL!”}}

A nerdy Spineless One raised his flabby arm and shouted from the crowd, “Actually, it was X-Men Omega. When you say just ‘X-Men’ others might become confused. It could mean X-Men Alpha, but it was really X-Men Omeg—AHHHHHH!!!”

A smoldering pile of ash stood where the nerd once plopped.

{{“I’M TALKING!”}} Mojo shouted. {{“Anyway, everything between the 616 and 615 universes were the same…up until this point.”}}

The monitor’s movie began to go into slow motion to capture the speeds at which Quicksilver was moving to dodge Tsung’s “virtual bullets,” capable of penetrating almost anything. Where Quicksilver survived (albeit, wounded) in our reality, the monitor closed in on Quicksilver as his body became riddled with bullet holes.

{{“In this reality, Quicksilver was just in over his head. Tsung’s bullets were just a quarter inch a certain way…and it was enough to kill him,”}} Mojo explained as the movie resumed normal speed and Pietro Maximoff’s body slumped onto the masonite roof. A feral Sabretooth, then leapt from the shadows and literally tore Tsung to pieces. The feed was cut partially at the end as Mojo snickered, {{“Heh, if I showed you any more, the FCC would be all up in my ass. But you get the idea. Sabretooth went psycho on Mr. Tsung thanks to Psylocke’s manipulations.”}}

“How could Pietro’s death turn us evil?” Maggott asked.

Mojo laughed as the video showed a distraught Rogue in the medical wing of the X-Men’s former Australian base of operations, {{“Poor Speedy Gonzalez’s death had a profound affect on Rogue. She went into a stupor or something…after binge drinking on a load of pills and alcohol. But that wasn’t the REAL tragedy…”}}

The movie depicting the eventual ascension of the X-Corps continued, as Sabretooth, under the telepathic influence of a Crimson Dawn-influenced Psylocke, completely tore off Blink’s head. Joseph, the supposed magnetic field-generating son from another dimension/clone of Magneto, tore the adamantium out of Sabretooth, thus insuring Sabretooth was the traitor.

“Aw, damn. Clarice…,” Diode muttered.

{{“The death of the purple elf had a perverse affect on Joey-Joe in the same way the Road Runner had on Rogue-y,”}} Mojo cackled. {{“Tapping into a power source he didn’t know he had, Joseph unknowingly became Proteus once more and was dying.”}}

{{…er…I’m dying!}} the alternate Joseph sputtered on screen as his shocked teammates looked on…in shock.

{{“See? Told ya he was dying. This soon prompted Bishop to make a trip to Australia to check up on his old team…little did he and everyone else know his body was perfect for Proteus’s energy form…,”}} Mojo said as he wavered his voice in a true cinematic fashion. {{“Thus, X-Men Omega became even more militaristic…as the X-Corps.”}}

{{We’re the X-Corps now…we don’t have time for this other bull[bleep],}} the alternate amalgamation of Bishop and Joseph said as he slung a large gun over his shoulders.

Mojo continued as the movie played on, showing the X-Corps as they stomped out numerous threats, both superhuman, mutant, supernatural, and alien, {{“But while the X-Corps were mostly successful in their exploits, certain telepathic nudges from the evil Psylocke deterred them from stopping the Church of Humanity’s first wave…resulting in the deaths of hundreds of mutants…including well known ones like Xorn, Havok, Polaris, and Proudstar…as well as everyone’s favorite Latina…Diode! Only Maggott walked away alive…where he was eventually inducted into the Corps.”}}

“Crap,” Diode said bluntly.

{{“But while this was all going on…with Rogue out of it and Pietro dead, the two key elements into liberating Psylocke’s soul from the Crimson Dawn were gone…and she continued to succumb to its darkness…,”}} Mojo continued. His voice became much deeper, {{“Until eventually…she dragged her entire team down with her…”}}

The movie feed inexplicably cut as the X-Corps: Bishop, Archangel, Psylocke, Pyro, Rogue, and Maggott were seen walking towards the camera in a sleek, “we’re badass mothers” fashion.

“What happened then?” Xorn asked.

{{“They killed. A lot. So many, in fact…well…heh, quite frankly, I’m not too sure how many are left on their Earth,”}} Mojo laughed.

“Enough talking,” Dark Bishop muttered. “We’re ending this.”

“Yeah,” Dark Pyro scoffed, “we’re not like these media whore X-Corp ponces.”

“Let’s get this the hell over with,” Dark Rogue muttered.

{{By all means, knock yourselves out....please,"}} Mojo cackled.

Dark Psylocke smiled as the Crimson Dawn marking over her left eye began to glow brightly, “Leave it to me.”

X-Corp, save for Xorn, suddenly felt a migraine of pain explode inside of their craniums. Psylocke gripped her temple, “I…can’t…block it!”

“Bloody hell,” Pyro screamed as he fell to the ground, as did Archangel, Diode, and Maggott…soon followed by Psylocke. “Do something!”

Xorn’s eye-slots grew brighter with each passing moment, “I’m…I cannot. I have a strict code of honor.”

“Tell it to the damn cuts and bruises on my FACE!” Pyro shouted.

Xorn disobeyed his own morals and fired a blast of heat, causing Dark Psylocke to fling backwards into the stone wall of the arena, “Sorry.”

“Ugh…you don’t have to say ‘sorry’ when you’re kicking someone’s ass to save your friends, Xorny,” Diode muttered as an electrical charge pulsed out of her eyes.

Psylocke’s butterfly effect appeared around her eyes as she regained her composure, “I can mask your minds from another psionic attack…granted I don’t lose concentration.”

“My natural defenses were off for some reason,” Diode wondered. Suddenly, a feather of light stuck through her chest. Roni looked down and frowned, “Son of a…” A jolt of energy spread throughout her body as she lost consciousness. Maggott quickly caught her.

“This is startin’ to peeve me right off…,” Maggott muttered as his stomach cavity seemed to rip itself open, with Eany and Meany birthing themselves onto the ground. Both slugs seemed to growl when they met face to face with a second group of similar slugs. Soon, all four slugs were in a rabid free-for-all as they kicked up a cloud of dust.

Maggott looked up to see his darker half. Dark Maggott grinned wildly as his eyes glowed with a violet color, “I wonder what they’ll taste like.”

Maggott gently laid Diode on the ground and drove his fist into his doppelganger’s chin, “Now that’s just sick, mate!”

“Heh-heh-heh, you would know, you heroin-addicted pile of sh…”

Maggott licked his evil twin’s opposite temple with his opposite fist, “Keep talkin’, yer nothin’ but a self-absorbed loser, mate!”

Dark Maggott stumbled backwards and brought his fists up into the defensive position, laughing, “Sure you’re talkin’ to your evil self, or are you just lookin’ into the mirror? I mean…this could just be some manipulation by Mojo, right?”

“Either way…I’m pretty disgusted with myself…right now, I could care less if you’re some part of me,” Maggott growled as he literally lunged at himself, tackling Dark Maggott to the ground. They began to tussle just as their slugs did just a few yards away.

Diode regained a bit of her consciousness, only to see a woman clad in black leather with brown hair and a white streak hovering in front of her, “Ah guess this is where we fight t’ the finish, darlin’.”

A telekinetic hold took shape around Diode’s throat as she was raised three feet off of the ground, up to Dark Rogue’s eyelevel. Diode’s eyes widened when she saw that there was nothing but darkness in Rogue’s eyes…which was probably the same for everyone else in the X-Corps.

“You’re the most inexperienced one out here,” Dark Rogue smiled as Diode gagged for air. She smiled, “Where’s your wit now? The time for pathetic newcomers like you is over, sugah. We’re the real X-Men, not…losers like you. Yer nothin’ but a Storm rip-off with Spider-Man’s personality.”

Diode’s eyes, after seemingly rolling back into her skull, stopped. Roni stopped gagging and looked at Rogue in the eyes, “You know…maybe it’s just me, but you self-proclaimed ‘evil’ types are just retarded sometimes. I don’t know whether to get you tickets to Sesame Street on Ice or put you in the hospital.”

“WHAT?!” Rogue screamed. “How did you git outta my TK-grip?!”

“Jell-O through a tube and everything, Señorita Ippi!” Diode shouted as she spun around, punching Rogue in the stomach and then generating a stream of simulated lightning through her body. “See, that’s sorta Spanish for Mississippi…”

As Rogue’s smoldering body struggled to crawl away from the sneak attack, Diode continued, “It’s called physics. I put an electrical field around my body, and your telekinesis or whatever power you’re using does next to jack squat.”

Rogue growled as she suddenly sprung upwards, delivering a left hook to Diode’s chin. The normal distance a person would travel when punched was quadrupled when taking into consideration Rogue now possessed her Ms. Marvel abilities. Diode crashed into the sand, toppling end over end before eventually skidding to a painful halt.

With the wind somewhat knocked out of her, her chin badly bruised, and her bottom lip bleeding, Diode got to her feet as electricity flowed from her like a superconductor, “You want the Jerry Springer fight…? Fine. You want a Southern girl and Latina to throw down? You better be filming this, Mojo! Because this will perpetuate an ass-load of stereotypes!!”

As the crowd roared, Diode smiled, thinking back to her stand-up days. What a strange twist her life has taken. But the fact of the matter was that Roni knew how to work the crowd.

Diode and Rogue rammed head on and began their designated catfight.

“Mah hair! AHHH!!!” Rogue shrieked.

“YEEHAW! HAHAHAHA!!!” Diode giggled as she used her nails in…other areas.

Japanese steel clashed with dark mystical shadow as Psylocke and Dark Psylocke parried with their katanas. The banter, however, cut deeper than any of the blades could.

“Warren doesn’t love you,” Dark Psylocke laughed. “And you don’t love him!”

“Wrong universe, babe,” Psylocke growled as she spun around, catching her heel with the side of her evil self’s face.

Dark Psylocke spun around and raised her shadow-katana for a block, “Don’t kid yourself…you think you really want to get married? You work together…it’ll never work out. And how many times have you masturbated in the shower…thinking about Pyro?”

Psylocke’s eyes widened in rage as she reached for her hidden sai, intent on gutting her opponent, but her Crimson Dawn-enhanced foe was not there. Betsy spun around and called the bluff of the shadow-teleporting, successfully blocking a strike from Dark Psylocke’s blade of darkness behind her.

Dark Psylocke laughed, “As individuals, as two teams, we might be different, but a lot of the same stuff happened to shape who we are. Our dimensions aren’t as drastically dissimilar as you think.”

“Then you should also know that the Crimson Dawn is corrupting you,” Psylocke grunted as she delivered the back end of her fist into Dark Psylocke’s nose. “And now it’s spread to your teammates. Speaking of which, Archangel was supposed to be the balance, the catalyst that stopped you from reaching true darkness!”

“You’re right, actually,” Dark Psylocke laughed, “the funny thing is that he’s the only one the ‘dark side’ of the Dawn doesn’t have an effect on…but he’s still prone to a little mind control. You’re just depressed that you’re no longer like me…” The evil Psylocke looked down at herself, “You were at your apex…and they stripped it away from you. You were perfect.”

“It’s the flaws that make us human,” Psylocke said. “I realize that now. The Crimson Dawn and my skills being stripped away was what realized what I truly was…and I’ve built myself a new foundation.”

“With Warren at its base?” Dark Psylocke mocked, “Come on, it’s nothing but a publicity stunt to convince yourself you’re not worthless.”

“Wow…,” Psylocke scoffed. “I really was a bitch.”

Dark Psylocke shouted as she lunged for Betsy, who spun and threw six ninja stars, each one not missing their target. The evil Psylocke looked up in horror as the metal shards stuck out from her neck, the top of her right breast, her ribcage, and three in her belly. The shadow-katana disappeared from her grasp as the Crimson Dawn marking over her left eye dimmed down to a brownish color.

Psylocke leaned in and whispered, “Warren is my rock.”

Psylocke then turned around and thrust her katana into Dark Psylocke’s intestines, pulling the blade sideways, slicing the abdomen open. Psylocke looked down at the body of her double and mourned her…but at the same time, felt thankful events in our own reality proved to be more beneficial.

She was whole again.

Betsy held her sword high above her head and accepted her victory from the gracious crowd…

“BETSY!” Dark Archangel shouted as he suddenly stopped mid-flight in the tussle with Archangel. He looked down below and saw the viscera spilled onto the arena grounds. “She killed her!!” Talons of light emerged from his fingertips as he took a swipe at Warren’s face, unleashing blood and almost taking his eye in the process.

Almost confused in the moment of battle, Warren looked down to see that “his” Betsy was still standing. He smiled, but focused on the matter at hand as he brought his forearm up to block an incoming swipe from his evil self’s photonic talons.

“That’s not going to stop me, you WEAK, pampered little prick!” Dark Archangel shouted as his wings made of pure light thrusted themselves forward and outward, forming into a barrage of force which brutally knocked Archangel to the ground.

The evil version of Warren Worthington ominously descended to the ground with a sword of light in his grasp, “I will cut off your wings and use them as trophies…”

“How about I just mount your stuffed carcass in my office?” Warren asked as he pulled a golden-plated pistol from his torn sport coat. A pull of the trigger and a brief flare of gunpowder and zinc, and the evil Archangel’s hair, wings, and eyes dimmed down to nothing. As blood seeped from the entry wound in his throat, his pale blue skin darkened into its red hues as it resembled normal skin once more. As the body slumped over, Archangel failed to see the oncoming inferno.

Pyro and his alter ego seemed to be engaging in the war of two fire gods as the arena was now filled with multiple figures and creatures made of flame that resembled a nitty-gritty battle royal.

“Heh, sorry boss…did not see that one,” Pyro smirked.

“I’m…sure,” Archangel muttered as he nursed a few of his burnt feathers.

Dark Pyro growled, “Ah, shut the feck up…can’t believe you take orders from that bloody feckin’ feck!”

“I’m not one to resort to extreme violence,” Archangel muttered as he pointed his gun at Pyro. At the last second, he turned and shot Dark Pyro in the leg without even looking, “But sometimes I forget how fun it is.”

Pyro smiled as his armada of flame surrounded and completely consumed his evil self, pummeling him once and for all, “Not bad, Worthington…not bad.”

Psylocke ran up to the two blonde men, “Is everyone alright?”

Maggott slowly walked up, a few cuts and bruises…as well as a large chunk of flesh missing from his left thigh, with Eany and Meany slithering behind him, “How is everyone doin’?”

Psylocke visually scanned the area and failed to see Maggott’s downed opponent, “Where’s…?”

“Don’t ask,” Maggott responded as Eany and Meany exchanged what appeared to be a satisfying belch.

Psylocke’s eyebrows rose, “…oh.”

Diode descended, dropping Dark Rogue’s unconscious form on the ground, “Score one for the new chick. No disrespect to our universe’s Rogue, but this bitch is a little punta, I swear!”

Archangel holstered his pistol inside his coat pocket, “You took out Rogue? Not only that, but even with her power catalogue?”

“Impressive,” Psylocke nodded.

“How’d you do it?” Pyro asked.

“Yeah, let’s hear it,” Maggott smirked.

“I dunno, I just…well, I guess you have to be Latina to understand,” Diode smiled. “Um…heh. I hope the anti-defamation league isn’t around.”

“True that,” Maggott muttered.

Diode put her hands to her hips and looked around, “Oh…you guys killed your opponents? Color me embarrassed.” She rolled up her sleeves, “I’ll just go ahead and…”

Maggott thrust his forearm in Diode’s path, “Roni…that’s enough, gel.”

Diode sighed, “I was just kidding…jeez. I’m not teeter-tottering on the dark side like the rest of you. How’s Xorn holding up?”

The roar of the crowd answered their questions as Dark Bishop was “freed” from gravity, forever destined to travel the path of a flung man, as if by a sling shot, from a planet that was a whole dimension.

Xorn flew over to his teammates and looked at every one of them, “Was I too harsh?”

“Absolutely not, Mr. Xorn,” an obnoxious voice said. X-Corp spun around and saw Mojo before them, in all of his grotesque, globular glory. “In fact, why don’t you take the goddamn night off?!”

Mojo’s mechanical tail fired a blast of energy, hitting Xorn in the chest and burning a hole into his sternum. The Chinese mutant’s legs kicked up into the air as his back fell flat onto the sandy ground.

“Xorn!” Diode shouted.

“Don’t move!” Spiral shouted as she teleported out from nowhere and held six blades up across various vital areas of Psylocke’s body from behind.

“Spiral…,” Pyro smirked, “long time, no see, eh?”

“Oh God, shut up,” Spiral uttered.

“Back in the day, when we were part of Freedom Force, we used to,” Pyro paused for a brief moment to thrust his pelvis forward and backward repeatedly. “Uh-huh. Mmhm. Yep. Right there.”

“John…stop,” Psylocke implored.

Pyro shrugged, “What? Are you afraid Spiral’s gonna stab you?”

“No, it’s just that I think we’ve heard enough of your…former conquests,” Psylocke sighed.

“Well,” Mojo began as he rubbed his hands together, “it seems you have exceeded my expectations. I thought the X-Corps would win, but I guess Xorn and Diode are your edge…since their characters are so…shall I say…new and fresh to the X-Men franchise? And a big bravo to you, Mr. Worthington. You’re quite the Renaissance Man. Managing a business, leading a team of heroes…you should be proud of yourself. And hey, look, Wolverine is ACTUALLY not on your team, either.”

“What’s this all about, Mojo?” Archangel demanded, trying not to glance over at his fiancé, who could be dead in an instant if Spiral had her way.

“Here in my world, it’s all about one thing…ratings,” Mojo explained. “Back in your world, I tried to have my agents stir up controversy, but…even then you proved to be too resilient. I needed to stir things up…after all, Psylocke is my property. I made her.”

“You didn’t make me!” Betsy shouted, but was quickly silenced as Spiral moved the blades closer towards Betsy’s vitals.

“Well, technically, she’s right,” Mojo laughed. “The first Mojo made her, molded her from a blind meek woman into a stunningly beautiful warrior.”

“Wait, what do you mean first Mojo?” Diode asked.

“I’m the fifth,” Mojo smiled. “The second one was a skinny little humanoid-looking douche.”

“Who were the third and fourth ones?” Pyro asked.

Mojo chuckled, “Isn’t it obvious? Oprah and Dr. Phil.”

X-Corp exchanged a brief glance, wondering if it was a joke, but deep down…it felt kind of true…which made it even creepier.

“The point is…we ‘Mojoes’ don’t last long. We need ratings to translate into worship from the lower beings, which translates into immense power,” Mojo continued.

“Wait…you said you had agents shadowing us…,” Maggott recalled. “Who are they?”

“The paparazzi?” Mojo asked. “You really didn’t wonder where they came from all of a sudden, have you? Sure, they’ve been a force on your world for awhile, but it’s been only recently that there’s been a surge in the media.”

“Then it was you this whole time?” Archangel asked. “Pulling the strings, invading our lives?”

“Oh, don’t act like such a victim…I target all celebrities,” Mojo chuckled. “You just happen to be on the top of the social hierarchy that I have history with. You see…the whole POINT in bringing you here was just a distraction. The real battle is back on your world, where your image has been tarnished by yours truly…we figured it would make for an interesting change of pace this season instead of everyone liking you all the time.”

Warren scratched the back of his head, “So…that’s it? That’s your grand design?”

Mojo ran his slimy hands through his mechanical hair, “Um, well…yeah.”

“BOOOOOOO!!!!” rang from the crowd like a broken record.

Mojo became visibly affected by the change in attitude of his servants, “No! SILENCE! I command you to shut up! I’m MOJO!”

“You’re losing touch with your audience, Mojo,” Archangel grinned as he crossed his arms.

“You’re losing some other things, too,” Diode observed as the crowd continued to boo.

“Huh?” Mojo asked, flabbergasted. He noticed his mechanical legs and tail had some how magically disappeared. His hair fell out in thick strands as his mass began to shrink, “NO! I’m losing…my…powers! Guh…humph…this is SO not…um…cool! Come on, I’ll bring back the X-Babies…huh? Everyone loves them! I’ll do anything…I’ll…relaunch X-Corp with a new #1 issue…”

“That’s so nineties, mate…,” Maggott smirked.

The dethroned Mojo suddenly found himself one-tenth his former size. He looked at the six mutants who towered over his tiny, rat-like body. His high-pitched voice cried out, “Aw…shit!”

Spiral rolled her eyes, as she sheathed her blades, “Well, I saw this coming…”

Psylocke smiled as she turned around and decked Spiral a good one, dropping her with one punch, “So you didn’t mind if I knocked you out just then?”

Tiny Mojo shook his fist in the air, “I’ll…I’ll be avenged!”

Archangel kneeled down and said, “In the business world, this is what we call a hostile take over. Consider Mojoworld and the paparazzi property of X-Corp.”

“You can’t do that!” Mojo wailed.

“Watch me,” Archangel growled.

“There’s still millions of Spineless Ones who feed on Earth’s television,” Mojo said. “Are you just going to let them die?”

“Of course not,” Archangel said. “They get to govern themselves and work for me, a known celebrity. Either way, they won’t have a dictator running their lives anymore. And don’t worry about the TV waves…the audience will still get what they want.”

Mojo crossed his tiny arms, “Crap…this is worse than reading a graphic novel of my life written and drawn by Chuck Austen and Rob Liefeld’s left foot--GAH!” Mojo became startled by two hulking figures, from his perspective, anyway. Eany and Meany eyed the tiny Mojo down and promptly gobbled him up.

"Ag, gels...I told you to watch the fats," Maggott complained.

“Warren,” Psylocke said as she embraced her future husband, “are you sure about this?”

As the gateway back to the X-Corp offices opened up, Archangel looked into Psylocke’s blue eyes and kissed her. After pulling away, he said, “I’ve never been surer in my life, Elisabeth.”

Psylocke smiled, “Then it’s alright with me.”

“What about us?” Diode asked, interrupting the “moment.”

“Yeah, we’re part of the executive board of directors, mate,” Maggott said as Eany and Meany sat perched on his shoulders.

“Don’t we have a say?” Pyro chimed in. “Acquiring an entire dimension? I mean…the tax returns are gonna suck balls next year!”

“You’re legally bound to our discretion of whether or not you decision stands,” Xorn informed.

“Okay,” Archangel sighed, “all in favor of having some privacy for a change now that we’ll control the paparazzi?”

“Aye.”

“Aye.”

“Aye.”

“Well, when you put it that way, it does seem rather--”

“Yay or nay, Xorn?”

“Yay.”

“Alright,” Archangel smirked as he walked through the gateway, hand in hand with Psylocke, followed by Diode, Maggott, and Xorn.

Pyro was about to walk through, but tip-toed over to the unconscious body of Spiral…and tore off the armor plating to her right breast, in front of a shocked stadium of on-lookers.

“Heh, um…oops,” Pyro giggled before diving through the gateway.

X-Corp Offices.
Manhattan.

“What the holy hell is goin’ on…er…oh…AH!” Bill Gemas, the superficial head of the design department sputtered as he fell backwards in the chair to Warren’s desk. As the explosion of light coming from the portal closed up—resulting in a deafening pop—the X-Corp board observed the weasel as he looked up from under the desk’s ledge.

Bill realized Psylocke was successful in liberating her colleagues and breathed a sigh of relief as he stood up, “Hey, guys!”

Archangel crossed his arms, exposing his biceps as his suit had been burnt and torn during the battle, “You were in my office?”

“Er, well…yeah,” Bill chuckled. “Someone had to run things.”

Warren’s eye twitched, “What did you do?”

“Well, I made a few orders and…well…um I made a financial decision regarding the new training facility. We actually had to cut back some,” Bill explained. “Instead of the high-tech holograms you’ve been pushing for, we’ll be getting more of a traditional training and exercise equipment set.”

“You…what?” Archangel growled.

“Yeah, I even set some things up with this fashion designer I know to come up with flashy new costumes for your field missions,” Bill explained. “Oh, and…someone called, but I deleted the message. It wasn’t important, anyway.”

“You’re fired,” Warren said finally.

“And I had the science team downstairs dismantle that inter-dimensional gateway thing,” Bill said. “We didn’t need that thing, anyway. Sold it for a good price on eBay.”

Archangel furiously grabbed Bill by his pink shirt collar and lifted him two feet off of the floor, “I said YOU’RE FIRED!”

Appalled, Bill’s eyes bulged, “You can’t do that! I have a contract! I warned you, Worthington! I’ll sue your ass!”

“This is not your business to run!” Warren growled.

“It’s also not a chauvinistic business, is it?” Bill shouted. “Is that it? Just because I’m not a mutant or superhuman with special powers, I’m an idiot?!”

“You don’t know the first thing about running a team of heroes, let alone a business!” Archangel shouted. “You run the design department, not X-Corp’s mutant threat mission division, or any other department of this business not your own. Clean out your desk and get the hell out of my building, or I’ll call the police!”

Warren violently dropped Bill on the floor. Bill looked up at the other five mutants, expressing a look of sorrow, “Tell him he can’t do this!”

“Sorry, Billy-boy,” Pyro muttered, “the board is unanimous.”

“I’m part of the board, too!” Bill shouted. “I have a say!”

“This isn’t a game, Gemas,” Psylocke began as she walked up to him, past Archangel. “We’re not the Avengers. We don’t have time for all the spectacle and flashy costumes. The decisions you made without our approval could have costed lives…and for that, it will cost you your job.”

“But—!” Bill yelped.

Psylocke pulled out her katana and lightly pressed up the blade’s edge against Bill’s neck, “Be thankful it’s only your job you’re losing.”

Diode joked, “That, and bladder control.”

Bill, furious, stood up and promptly stormed out of the office, slamming the door as he left.

“He took that well,” Xorn observed, perhaps with a shade of sarcasm.

“Well, um…let’s try to finish up that meeting we had…before…what day is it?” Archangel wondered. “Anyway, we’ve got business to attend to.”

“Aw…I was gonna get a massage,” Maggott groaned. Everyone, save for Xorn, rolled their eyes as they walked out of the office on the way to the board room.

“Heh, sheesh…we’re gone for like two days and all hell breaks loose,” Pyro observed.

“Aw, come on, how bad could it be?” Diode asked.

Archangel, who led the pack, suddenly stopped when he saw many employees, including Sandy, his receptionist, crowded around a television set in the office, “What’s--?”

As the rest of the board stopped in their tracks as well, silence fell over them. Before the employees could answer, the images of Washington DC burning and experiencing riots were enough to speak for an entire generation.

{{…it was believed a confrontation between the Friends of Humanity and local mutants in the Washington area sparked the riots, although it is uncertain who started what,}} the CNN reporter explained.

Sandy looked behind her and shouted, “Mr. Worthington!” The other employees around the television set scurried back to their desks to pretend they were busy.

Sandy whipped her blue hair out of her eyes, “Someone named Hank tried to call you…something about Ororo being alive and Scott not being Scott…”

Warren looked at Betsy behind him in an inquiring manner, “Did Scott seem…off to you when he and Jean stopped by that one day?”

Betsy shook her head, “Well, I don’t know…his mind was kind of jumbled, but it was him, as far as I could tell. If Jean didn’t see anything wrong, how would I?”

Warren gripped his chin in deep thought as he glanced at the television screen, “This isn’t good at all…”

“We still have those cases to deal with, too,” Psylocke reminded. “With all that’s going on in Washington, things are going to be even tenser.”

“Yeah…,” Archangel muttered.

“We had like, what…fifteen cases?” Diode asked.

“Yes,” Xorn informed.

“How the hell are we gonna do that with just the six of us?” Pyro wondered.

“Did Mojo initiate this riot?” Xorn asked. “He did say he tarnished our image.”

“I don’t think so,” Psylocke began, “he only set out to harm X-Corp, not every mutant in America. This may have to do with Cyclops’s imitator.”

“Fortunately, this may have diverted attention away from the company’s predicament for the time being,” Xorn declared.

“Um,” Sandy chimed in, “that Hank dude said that he and a bunch of other X-Men were headed to Washington. They’re probably already there.”

“Alright, so the situation is being handled…but there’s the possibility that Cyclops might be an imposter,” Warren said. He pointed at Sandy, “Ms. Fredrickson, I need you to call Bobby Drake and have him check out the Xavier Institute and at least warn him about the faux-Cyclops.”

“Got it,” Sandy said as she took off for her desk. She stopped midway and turned around, holding up her index finger, “Wait…what’s ‘faux’ mean?”

“Fake,” Archangel said.

“Then why didn’t you just say ‘fake’?” Sandy inquired. A stern glance from Archangel caused Sandy to turn away and complete her task, “Nevermind, jeez…”

Archangel crossed his arms as the rest of X-Corp circled around their leader, “As for the rest of us…we have some cases to handle.”

“Boss, I hate to say it…but we’re short on manpower,” Maggott said. He was met with a dirty look from Diode, “Or…person-power, I meant.”

Archangel nodded, “I’m aware of that. I’ve got just the person. Betsy--?”

“Already have Cerebro running, darling,” Psylocke said as her mental commands activated the mutant-tracking machine.

“Okay, good,” Archangel nodded. “We’ll reconvene in an hour to discuss assignments for each of you. Until then, change into some new clothes and get the jets fueled up.”

"Wee, multi-tasking...viva la insomnia!" Diode shouted. "Come on, Xorny! Let's prep the jets, foo'!"

"Veronica, I insist you cease to refer to me as...foo'," Xorn implored as he and Diode walked off to take the elevator to the hangar on the roof.

"Why, is it a dirty word in Chinese or something?" Diode giggled.

"No, it's just that word...as well as MTV...truly annoys the crap out of me," Xorn explained. 

"Heh, so much for the Zen-Buddhism, eh?"

"...have you watched MTV lately?" Xorn asked. "If I have to watch another Real World/Road Rules Challenge, I swear..."

"Heh, I think I already smell what's gonna change now that we control the media," Diode smiled.

Xorn replied with a confident, "Indeed."

NEXT ISSUE: As X-Corp regains their footing in the media spotlight and deals with the subsequent “tarnishing” created by Mojo, they will have a brand-new employee to hire into their ranks! (Hint: it’s not Wolverine!) In the meantime, to check out the resolution to the riots in Washington, continue to read about it next month in X-Men Prime #16!

BIBLIOGRAPHY

- Storm was revealed to be alive in X-Men Prime #14 after her supposed death in Apocalypse 2000 #6. The riots in Washington, DC also began in X-Men Prime #14.

- The details dealing with Psylocke and Archangel's transformation into their current state from the removal of the Crimson Dawn power was covered in M2K's X-Men Omega #53.

- The faux-Cyclops, along with Phoenix, met with Archangel and Psylocke in X-Men Prime #13 to discuss financing a new mansion, as the old one blew up in X-Men Prime #12.

- Events depicted in the X-Corps origin were based on those seen (roughly) in X-Men Omega #32, 50, and 56.