Archangel

Psylocke

“Well…what do you think?” a British-accented voice asked.

Roni Santiago opened her eyes after promising to cover them and gazed upon a woman with exotic purple hair. The woman wore what appeared to be the most beautiful and elegant white wedding dress she had ever seen. She was surrounded by a triptych of rectangular mirrors.

The stocky Asian seamstress who stood next to the woman nodded in approval of her work.

“In a word…or two…holy shit,” Roni responded. “You look hot. If I was a dude, I’d be sportin’ a major boner right about now.”

Betsy Braddock, known to most as Psylocke, looked down at her ensemble of traditional wedding clothes and smiled, “That good?”

“Totally, girlfriend. Warren’s gonna love it…well…I mean, as much as a guy ‘loves’ a wedding dress,” Roni chuckled.

Psylocke rolled her eyes and looked down at the seamstress as she stepped off of the stool which she stood on, “Thank you, Ms. Kwan. Wonderful job.”

Ms. Kwan, in all of her humble Asian glory, graciously bowed her graying head, “It was my pleasure, Ms. Braddock.”

As Ms. Kwan quietly exited the fitting room, Psylocke looked back at herself in the mirror and then turned around and giddily exchanged a jumping up and down session with her colleague, Diode. The wedding dress seemed to hiss as the motion of her body scratched against the material. Both women produced a high pitch squeal in-between leaps of joy.

“Ohmygodohmygod,” Diode rambled.

“Oh, I know!” Psylocke responded.

“Ooohhhhhaaaahwww!” Diode commented.

“I know!” Psylocke grinned.

“You’re getting married!” Diode exclaimed. Of course, everyone knew about the marriage of Archangel and Psylocke…it was all over television, radio, and the internet.

“I know!!!” Psylocke shouted.

“EEEEEEEeeeee!!!” Diode squeaked.

Psylocke bit her index finger, as if to hamper the uncontrollable laughter of the tickle harbored in her lungs and echoed Diode’s sentiments, “EEEEeee!!”

Betsy suddenly stopped jumping for joy. Diode followed suit, but kept stroking the dress’s silky material with her index finger and thumb, “Wow,” Psylocke said, “I just can’t believe it, you know? I never thought I’d be getting married. I was always the girl who played sports with the guys at boarding school…never the one to settle down with them.”

“Ah, yeah…,” Diode nodded, “the old tomboy syndrome. I had it, too. Probably still have a bit of it. But you and Warren’ve been through a lot together. It’s about time you two shacked up.”

Psylocke stroked a strand of her curly hair and frowned as she looked in the mirror, “They tried to dye it back to blonde but couldn’t.”

“Because of Feng Tu’s science bitches that injected us all with performance enhancers that one time?” Diode asked.

Psylocke shook her head, “I think it had to do with my DNA…my father was a mystical being. That, combined with my x-gene…produces weird hormones. It’s complicated. The science department hasn’t exactly delved into paranormal metaphysics yet.”

Diode looked in the mirror along with Psylocke, “Well…THAT and it’s just hair color. Not the end of the world.”

“No…it’s not,” Psylocke said finally. She changed the subject, “Have Pyro, Maggott, and Xorn returned from their mission?”

Over the past few weeks, X-Corp’s volunteer rescue team had various assignments worldwide pertaining to mutants. Each mission ranged from explaining the mutant phenomena to a tribal community in the Congo, to charity events, and epic battles with disgruntled neo-mutants unsure of their potential. And during that time, each board member felt the absence left by onetime employee, Joseph. Without him, regardless of being revealed as Proteus, the workload has been horrendous.

Diode rubbed her eyes, “Not that I know of. They were in Dublin, right?”

Psylocke shook her head, “That was Wednesday. They were in Boston this morning.”

Diode sighed as she silently remembered the schedule, “Oy. Capturing a mutant IRA terrorist one day, then a promotion tour for Pyro’s book the next…talk about a total mind fuck.” After running her hand through her hair, Diode responded, “No…I haven’t heard back from them yet. Is the new board member coming any time this…oh I don’t know…NOW!?”

Psylocke looked off into the distance and smiled, “Hopefully.”

...In other news, it appears X-Corp is at it again. Only this time, someone new has been thrown out of the mix. After the firing of X-Corp's Bill Gemas, a replacement head designer has been found to take Gemas's place. No word on whether it's a male or female employee, but the more obvious question is whether or not the new employee is a mutant.

Elsewhere, certain human rights groups are angered at Warren Worthington for the firing of Gemas, saying it was unfair that a mutant fired a human. Prominent New York businessman Donald Trump was quoted as saying, 'I hope and pray that our country's businesses have not slipped back to the times where race or even now, species, are a deciding factor in lay offs.'

In the aftermath the Friends of Humanity riot in Washington a few weeks ago, the nation is still a little apprehensive of the mutant problem in America. Despite all that has transpired, however, X-Corp's approval rating has remained at a steady 79%.

A sleek, black limo pulled up to the red carpet to the convention center. As the chauffer opened the door, a large muscular leg stepped out, revealing a tall black man with a stylish suit under a long leather coat. The man wore red sunglasses and smiled as the flashes began to overwhelm his senses like a million strobe lights exploding in front of him all at once.

Maggott loved the attention, after all.

Cheers ejaculated from the crowd of men and women alike as the X-Corp member posed for photos by slowly turning around in place.

“You look like a damn fairy. You know that, right?” a thick-Australian accent shouted from inside the limo. The owner of that voice peeked his head out of the limo as the sun revealed his gelled blonde hair and orange sunglasses. The cheers escalated as fans of Pyro, the man of the hour, gazed upon their mutant “bad boy” idol.

Maggott shrugged as he stopped along the red carpet to snag a few photos to autograph, “If you got it, flaunt it, mate.”

“Yeah, but if all you got is a bunch of lame one-trick pony poses, it gets old…keep it fresh. Christ, your image is already in the shitter. If you wanted to commit arson, why didn’t you ask me to do it?” Pyro fully got out of the limo and put out his cigarette butt by promptly stepping on it…spreading black ash onto the spotless red carpet. Of course, all he had to do was command the fire burning in the cigarette to extinguish itself, but…Pyro was a firm believer in pissing off as many cleaning crews as possible.

Maggott put on a fake smile as he mumbled out the side of his mouth, “Suck my c—”

A loud clash of metal against metal caused Pyro’s waving to temporarily cease. He turned around and saw fellow employee, Xorn stumble slightly as he stepped out of the limo. The Chinese mutant, ever the Zen-philosopher, gripped his metal mask and said, “That’s the third time I’ve hit my head on that damn thing today.”

Maggott and Pyro exchanged a smirk. They were beginning to rub off on Xorn’s squeaky-clean personality.

“Pretty soon, we’re gonna have to wash his mouth out with soap,” Maggott joked.

“Especially since he doesn’t have one,” Pyro replied with the appropriate amount of friendly sarcasm.

As the three co-workers stood side by side in a casual line, they couldn’t help but smile as the paparazzi snapped photos. After acquiring Mojoworld’s resources, technically, the media-hounds were on X-Corp’s payroll.

“Um…shall we?” Pyro asked as he walked up the red carpet to the entrance of the convention center. As Xorn and Maggott followed, cheers continued.

Suddenly, a blob of clear goop exploded on top of Maggott’s head, “Hey! What the!? Son of a bitch!”

Amidst the commotion, someone apparently threw a rotten egg at Maggott. Livid, he almost commanded his two matter-ingesting slugs to spring out of his body and devour the antagonist, but knew that wouldn’t be very wise.

The crowd reacted to the egg by surrounding the perpetrator themselves.

Pyro rolled his eyes as he held the glass door open, allowing Xorn and Maggott to enter before he entered himself, “Don’t worry about it, mates. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Hopefully no one will ask us who the new employee is...,” Maggott hoped. “I’m sick of stalling.”

Bill Gemas's replacement is allegedly a former 'X-Man' teammate. So, the new mystery person is indeed a mutant, which I'm sure will upset human rights groups.

Some have speculated that the new member could in fact be the former man that rounded out the original seven board members -- Joseph. No word on any sightings by the paparazzi, but knowing this star, he won't stay hidden for long.

Still, with the recent controversies surrounding X-Corp, such as Maggott and Pyro's checkered pasts, it's unclear why Joseph was let go from the group of mutants. After his on-camera spat with colleague, Xorn, it could have been irreconcilable differences with the group, but no one knows for sure.

Back to you, Mary.

Warren Worthington III stood in front of the window in his executive office. Through the day’s work, he managed to loosen the tie to his suit and removed his sport coat to let his angelic wings have breathing space.

A buzz on the telephone alerted the man’s keen ear, {{“Mr. Worthington, your 1 o’ clock is here.”}}

“Send her in, Sandy,” Warren commanded his receptionist. His wings flowed behind him as he walked over to his custom mini-bar and poured himself a glass of scotch. He swirled the liquor around and smelled it before sipping it. It burned his lips and tasted like shit…but anything was better than what laid before him.

Detective Charlotte Jones, with her NYPD badge displayed around her neck, walked into the office with a leather bound folder in her grasp, “Drinking on the job, Warren?” The black woman’s tightly braided hair was tied into an intricate ponytail.

Warren acknowledged his onetime girlfriend and set the scotch glass down, “Detective.”

A bit put off by the stark comment, Charlotte looked at her feet and cleared her throat before looking up at Archangel’s deep blue eyes.

Warren broke the awkward silence and explained, “We’ve been busy lately. Running the business and attending to our mutant threat missions. I don’t normally drink this early in the afternoon. Frankly…I’m worn out.”

“Word is you’ve got one of your old X-Men friends lined up for a position on the board,” Charlotte said as she hugged the leather folder closer to her chest.

Warren smiled as he raised his glass for another sip of alcohol, “That was quick. Just one anonymous email to a gossip column and it was all over the airwaves just like that.”

Charlotte smirked, “You mean you purposely let the information leak?” She rolled her eyes in conjunction with shaking her head and just laughed, “You’re such a prick.”

Archangel smiled off-handedly and laughed to himself as he downed another sip of scotch. He smacked his lips and grunted, “Well…you set up an appointment, what do you want to talk about?”

As Warren walked behind his desk and sat down, Charlotte stepped up to the chair in front of the desk and flicked her eyebrows, “Being the asshole you are, the last time we talked face to face, you told me the only way to get your attention was to set up an appointment.”

Archangel rested his chin on his two interlocked fists, “Hm. So I did. Amazing how well it worked.”

Charlotte flung the folder in front of Warren’s elbows. As he opened the folder up, he saw photos of members of X-Corp, Archangel included, interacting with members of Jigoku, a Japanese crime syndicate.

“Mojo gave this to you?” Archangel asked without looking up.

“Yeah,” Detective Jones nodded. “I haven’t shown it to anyone…aside from the pictures of Maggott starting that apartment fire in Brooklyn. Somehow the media found out you were a Horseman of Apocalypse, too. I just want to know what the hell you’re doing. The X-Men, even though you were falsely accused of being outlaws, never got their hands dirty like this.”

Archangel looked up and closed the folder, “Well, you don’t have to worry about it. It’s over with.”

“What, exactly, is over?” Charlotte implored. She finally sat in the chair in front of the desk, “One of your employees is up for arson and animal cruelty. Now, I see you, Psylocke, Xorn, and Diode there with a bunch of Japanese crimelords in those pictures…and don’t get me started on Pyro’s track record.”

“I also fired an employee,” Archangel began. “Not because he murdered people, but because we died fixing his mistake.”

“He’s also the reason you’ve been thrust into stardom,” Charlotte reminded.

“Warp Savant’s vulgar power use is what made us big. Joseph might have saved the day, but in the end, it was what we already had that made us famous,” Archangel explained. “People are into the spectacle. Learned that back in the blue and gold tights era. It’s why superheroes are able to persevere.”

“But that’s beside the point,” Charlotte said. “Japheth could go to jail.”

“He’s going to jail over my dead body,” Archangel said. “I’ve fought alongside Maggott for awhile now and I’ll tell you I’d rather give up my wings than see him rot for something he had good reason to do.”

“And what good reason was that, Mr. Worthington?” Ms. Jones asked.

Warren sighed as he took another sip of his scotch, “I guess you wouldn’t understand. It’s not easy hiding the fact wings are growing from your back from your boarding school classmates. I turned myself into a prick to keep people from finding out the truth. Sure, Maggott went to the extreme, but I would have done the same in his position. I know exactly where he’s coming from.”

“What about the dog mutilations he took part in?” Charlotte asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Warren said. “I’ve killed…lots of people. Regardless of the brainwashing by a tyrannical madman…some part of me went into that. If you single out one of the few minority employees I have, what does that say about the idiocy of the legal system? I’ve done far worse.”

“Do you want me to get a warrant?” Charlotte asked rhetorically.

“I want you to get off this case, Charlotte,” Archangel said. “My lawyers are handling Maggott’s crime.”

“What about the Jigoku, then?” Det. Jones asked. “Or even more recently, the unauthorized attack on Feng Tu? You can’t use your friendship with President Bush as a ‘get out of jail free’ card.”

“We disbanded the Jigoku,” Warren explained. “And that was one thing, we thought, was off the record. But now, as I’ve said, it really doesn’t matter. We own the paparazzi.”

Charlotte smiled, “…how? The paparazzi are, by nature, freelance photographers. More and more spring up all the time…you can’t own them! That’s just asinine!”

“They were agents for Mojo,” Archangel explained. “And now that we’ve got control of his resources, we’ve got everything else that came with it.”

“My God…,” Charlotte huffed. “You have gone over the edge, haven’t you?”

“Just getting what we deserve,” Warren shrugged. “A positive image. For once.”

“You…,” Charlotte sighed. “You’re contradicting yourself, Warren! First you want to put yourselves out there in the spotlight…but now you want to filter it out and only show what you want? The hell?!”

Archangel stood up and pointed a finger in Charlotte’s face, “First off, I NEVER said I was going to filter the media! That was an assumption you conveniently came up with, since you seem to think I’m some kind of crook for INHERITING my family’s business!”

Charlotte shouted as she promptly stood up, “Do not put your hand in my face!”

“Sit your ass down!” Warren exclaimed.

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t investigate, asshole!” Det. Jones barked.

“Then fucking stop acting like the jealous ex-girlfriend because I chose to marry Betsy instead of you!!!” Archangel snapped. Charlotte suddenly gasped as tears filled her round, brown eyes. Warren’s face became red with rage, “Is that it!? Is that what this is about?! Do you want money!?”

A single tear fell down Charlotte’s cheek, yet her face remained stone cold, “It was never about money, Warren…”

“Single mother life has got you down, does it?” Warren growled. He reached in his desk and pulled out his checkbook, “Come on, let’s have it. How much do you need to survive on a police detective’s salary?”

“You’re not listening!” Charlotte shouted.

“How ‘bout 10…100 thousand? Is that reasonable?” Warren asked as he clicked his pen to write out the check.

“RRRAAAArrgh!!” Charlotte grunted as she rammed her fist into Warren’s temple, knocking him off of his chair and onto the floor. “You stupid rich son of a bitch! YOU ARE NOT ABOVE ME!”

Warren, disoriented, felt the pressure around his forehead and observed blood which stained his fingers. Archangel looked again and saw the diamond rings Charlotte was wearing on her punching hand. He saw the fury in her eyes and just then realized what emotional pain he truly inflicted.

“Shit…,” Archangel swore as he gripped his head wound and slowly stood up, his wings extending a little to help himself balance. Warren breathed in, “I’m sorry, Charlotte…I don’t think I’m better than you…I’m just…so tired. I’m at the boiling point…this damn job is just…”

Charlotte flexed her fingers as she herself calmed down, “No…I’m…sorry. I realize you’ve got a business to run and mutant equality to fight for.” She caressed Warren’s cheek, “I just want to make sure you don’t get into trouble.”

Warren smiled, “Well…I’m bleeding. Your eyeliner is smudged all over your face from crying. Coffee?”

Charlotte laughed and cried at the same time as she covered her mouth, “Sure.” She wiped her nose, “Only if you’ll tell me who the new employee is.”

...In an unprecedented turn of events, the entire MTV Real World/Road Rules Challenge series has been canceled. No new series of the popular reality series have been ordered...and won't be for some time. No word from MTV executives, however rumors are abound that something major has gone down with the entire media industry itself. Stay tuned to Entertainment Tonight for the latest details.

And in other news, just who is this new X-Corp member we somehow always talk about at all the most inappropriate spots imaginable? Well, new reports suggest from an anonymous source that the new employee (quote): 'has biceps to die for and is sort of sexy in the Andre the Giant kind of he-could-crush-you, but is still a big teddy bear kind of way...but not that an electric Latina mutant has anything to worry about...er...ah, crap. Strike that last part from the record.' (unquote).

You're not fooling us, J-Lo! Hahaha!

“So, do you know who the new member of X-Corp is?” a reporter asked as she diligently held her pad of lined paper in her grasp, her pen inching to scribble the juice on it.

In the convention hall, a stage area was set up with a draped table with the X-Corp logo on it. Sitting at the table with microphones in front of them were Pyro, Maggott, and Xorn. Pyro scratched the corner of his jaw, “Uh…we can’t really say. It’s a secret.”

“What happened to Joseph?” the same reporter asked. Xorn became a little tense at the mention of the man that nearly killed him in a blind rage. Of course, Xorn understood the circumstances of Joseph’s life. Having been engineered into a body that looked like Magneto at age 20 was the start of his pain. And then after Joseph was fed false memories as well as false information led the man once known as Kevin MacTaggart (and Proteus) to lash out. Xorn just happened to be in the way.

“We honestly don’t know,” Pyro responded as he seemed to look down. “But in more related news…my new book.” John held up his 200-page hardcover, “Mutant Celebrity: The New Fad.”

“Yeah, but…what about reports of Joseph sightings with someone who looked like the head of Clan Yashida and the last Horseman of War…?”

“…And what about the Spiral breast-exposure controversy?”

“…What about Feng Tu? Is he still performing his experiments outside of Beijing in his military headquarters?!”

“…What about Maggott’s arson charges?”

“PEOPLE!” Pyro shouted. The reporters quelled their excessive ranting. Pyro sighed as he slammed the table with his fist, “We are not here to bitch and moan about X-Corp!” John Allerdyce’s voice suddenly became purposefully childish as he impersonated the reporters’ unvarying rebuking, “Mnyah nyah nyah, boobies are evil! Boo hoo! I’m jealous of those mutant celebrities. Rabble rabble, liiiiiike, where’s Joseph!? Oh, and we want answers to every other question in the world that these three X-Corp employees OBVIOUSLY know…because they KNOW everything!!!”

Pyro violently leapt out of his chair and stood up, yelling into the microphone, “WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT MY FECKING BOOK! ANY OTHER QUESTIONS ASKED NOT PERTAINING TO SAID BOOK…” John paused for a moment as he flicked his lighter open, generating a massive fireball, “…SHALL FEEL MY FECKING WRATH!!”

Maggott cleared his throat as he walked up next to Pyro and covered the microphone with his hand. He whispered, “Um, actually your book promotion is the stop after this discussion panel.”

“But Diode told me…aw, damn it,” Pyro muttered.

Maggott snickered, “She schooled you again?”

“Every time I ask about my schedule with her to double-check, she feckin’ screws me up…on purpose!” Pyro grumbled. John’s cheeks flushed as he felt the embarrassment seep up into his face. The reporters mumbled amongst themselves, which made it even worse.

Suddenly, a cell phone rang. Pyro’s eyes lit up, “Thank God.” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the silvery object. “Hello?”

Maggott and Xorn exchanged a glance as they observed Pyro’s jaw drop. John put his phone away and became utterly serious, “Let’s go. We’re going to Logan International and taking the Seraphim-B home…we’ve got trouble. Local trouble.”

The urgency in Pyro’s voice was enough for the trio to sprint out of the convention hall, as they rudely, albeit understandably, by-passed all of the cameras and microphones on their way out.

...in a related story, has the media become too goddamn annoying?

We'll tell you later! But now...more Spiral breast-scandal!

While appearing on the Late Show with David Letterman, the former stunt actress bared all for Dave and accidentally teleported Paul Shafer to another dimension for a brief period. After returning, a dazed Shafer described hallucinations of demonic creatures. The audience got a laugh after Dave suggested if it 'was a dimension full of Regis Philbins?'

In Times Square, located in downtown Manhattan, swarms of people screeched in fear as they frantically dove for cover. A young Pakistani mutant boy, no older than 14 years old, stood in the intersections of the entertainment capital. With a flinch of his eyebrows, he caused miniature explosions of radioactive shrapnel to spray out into the masses.

Behind an overturned Volkswagen Beetle, Archangel, Psylocke, Diode, and Charlotte Jones huddled together to avoid the oncoming barrage of shrapnel.

Archangel drew his twin gold 9 mm pistols and Charlotte drew hers. Warren sighed as he peeked around the hood of the car, “I can’t get altitude quick enough…that kid’ll shred me alive before I got up 20 feet.”

Psylocke pressed her temple, “I’m not registering any brain activity in him. It’s like he’s in some kind of catatonic state.”

Archangel glanced at Diode, “Can you create electromagnetic force fields yet?”

“Dude, I can’t even get my DVD player to stop flashing ‘return porn to the video store’!” Diode wailed.

Charlotte turned around the opposite end of the car and attempted to get a shot in, but quickly pulled back just as the green energy shrapnel skidded against the pavement, “Jesus!” She pulled the walkie-talkie up to her mouth, “I said get a SWAT team to Times Square NOW!”

“Your DVD player does that?” Warren asked, but was answered with a smack to his wounded temple by Psylocke. “Ow? Deep scratch, anybody?”

“Did Sandy call Pyro and the others?” Psylocke shouted as another barrage of shrapnel against the car interrupted her.

“Yeah,” Diode informed.

“The only chance we have are Maggott’s slugs and maybe Xorn,” Warren said.

“Or maybe the government could get off their lazy ass and send in X-Force,” Diode mumbled as she crossed her arms. “Or, and the Avengers could sit out the paintball game and sit IN the dire super-heroics! But who am I to judge? I’m just ducking and covering like a sitting duck…hence the term…DUCKING!!”

“Sandy’s a mutant, isn’t she?” Charlotte asked. “Your receptionist?”

Archangel shook his head, “No.”

Psylocke nodded, “She is.”

“Wait…Sandy’s a mutant?” Diode asked. “Damn, my mutie-dar is way off.”

“What are her powers?! Maybe she can help us!” Archangel shouted.

Psylocke gave her fiancé a weird look, “Don’t be ridiculous! She’s inexperienced. Besides…I’m not sure what she can do.”

Suddenly, the sound of large footsteps running across the pavement caused vibrations in the ground. The metal and energy clashed as massive sparks ignited in midair; only to be abruptly halted a moment later.

The crowd gasped as the quartet of X-Men and NYPD alike behind the Volkswagen felt the massive footsteps steer their way.

Warren perked his head up from around the car as the unconscious boy’s body was held up by his ankle in front of him. Archangel holstered his guns and walked up to the man who held the young antagonizer with a massive metal fist…connected to an even larger metal body.

Colossus tilted his chrome-reflective head and smiled humbly, “Sorry I’m late.” Piotr Rasputin cleared his throat, responding in his thick Russian accent, “I had to make an entrance.”

NEXT ISSUE: Cory Wiegel and Dino Pollard make a greatly-appreciated debut in their guest arc entitled, "MEDIATRICS!" Just kick back and enjoy the ride as the after effects of acquiring Mojoworld bites X-Corp in the ass.

X-CORP MEMO

As you've probably figured out, I'm going to be taking some time off from my X-Corp writing duties for awhile. I know what you're thinking:

"You've been writing the title full time for almost 25 issues (counting X-Men Omega). What are ya? Fresh outta ideas, you stupid hack!?"

Well, no actually. In conjuction with X-Men Prime, I have some pretty neat plans lined up...it's just that I needed some time off to work on drawing a graphic novel called Perception by Dino Pollard (yeah, I've never heard of this guy either). Anyway, I figure I should be done by mid-summer *knocks on wood*, so that should be enough time for Cory and Dino to do what they gotta do and allow me to continue where I left off. And I'll still be handling my co-writer duties on X-Men Prime, so I'm not gonna pull a Mo_o and go apeshit...because I probably already have. So, until then, peace out and thanks for understanding.

- Brad Horton
March 22, 2004

BIBLIOGRAPHY

- Archangel proposed to Psylocke in issue #1. Media has been abuzz ever sicne.

- Detective Jones's argument with Archangel took place in issue #2.

- Joseph's fall from grace took place during the EXTORTION storyline in issues #6-8.

- In case you were wondering, Colossus appeared regularly in M2K's Exiles for a lengthy period.